I Live in Minnesota

2007 The Year in Movies

2008-01-13T17:44:00.000-06:00

By way of introduction, we often saw movies because the time worked out well. TinyE was on a play date or at an organized event, and the only movie that worked was one that we might not have seen otherwise. Most of the time (Music and Lyrics, Premonition, The Invisible) this did not work. But sometimes (In the Valley of Elah, Eastern Promises) it did. Overall, Mrs. Duf and I saw 37 movies. But there were 22 that we did not see that we might have if there were world enough and time.

Movies We Saw in 2007:

Happily N’Ever After
Music and Lyrics
Breach
Zodiac
Premonition
Meet the Robinsons
Fracture
The Invisible
Waitress
Shrek the Third
Mr. Brooks
Surf’s Up
Nancy Drew
Evan Almighty
Ratatouille
Transformers
Hairspray
The Simpsons Movie
The Bourne Ultimatum
Stardust
In the Valley of Elah
Eastern Promises
The Game Plan
The Darjeeling Limited
Michael Clayton
Gone Baby Gone
American Gangster
Bee Movie
Fred Claus
No Country for Old Men
Enchanted
Juno
The Golden Compass
Alvin and the Chipmunks
I Am Legend
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Youth Without Youth

Movies I Also Wish We’d Seen in 2007 (italics = really wish we'd seen):

300
Shooter
Grindhouse: Planet Terror and Death Proof
Knocked Up
A Mighty Heart
La Vie En Rose
Live Free or Die Hard
Sicko
Superbad
Death at a Funeral
3:10 to Yuma
Into the Wild
Lust, Caution
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Lars and the Real Girl
Things We Lost in the Fire
Disturbia
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Atonement
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Charlie Wilson’s War
Persepolis
There Will Be Blood

My Top Ten of 2007 (so far):

10. Hairspray – didn’t want to go (love the original to much), had a blast
9. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street – I’m a fan
8. Zodiac – quality from start to finish
7. American Gangster – strong acting performances
6. I Am Legend – a great story, strong acting, best set design of the year
5. In the Valley of Elah – Jones was phenomenal; overcomes formula ending
4. Eastern Promises – intense and amazing
3. Michael Clayton – some flaws, but overall very dog gone good
2. Gone Baby Gone – the “gotcha” was not so “gotcha” but the film was superb
1. No Country for Old Men – a flawless classic, works on every level

Honorable Mention:

Waitress
Breach
Mr. Brooks

Best Children’s Movies:

5. Bee Movie
4. Enchanted
3. The Game Plan
2. Surf’s Up
1. Ratatouille (the best by a country mile)

Pleasant Surprises (went in expecting little, and left thinking – “not bad” or even “very darn good"):

Mr. Brooks
Nancy Drew
Hairspray
The Game Plan
Gone Baby Gone
Waitress

Disappointments (high or medium expectations were dashed):

Transformers
The Simpsons Movie
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Darjeeling Limited

The Swimming Upstream Award (everyone loved this movie (or hated it) and I saw it the differently:

Juno (not bad, pleasant enought, but not great. It didn't make my top ten or honorable mention, and think of the movies I haven't seen yet)

The “Didn’t really get it” Award:

Youth Without Youth (I understood the basic plot, but I have not idea why Coppolla invested his own money into making it (and yes, he has a lot of money these days). Well except that I dounderstand why no studio would back it. It's a good movie, it's just not a money making movie).

Moments when Narcolepsy Triumphed; or: movies I feel asleep in (not necessarily a comment on the movie) reason and duration in parentheses:

Meet the Robinsons (exhaustion, not engaged; 10 minutes)
Shrek the Third (exhaustion, not engaged; 10 minutes)
Bee Movie (missed most of it, exhaustion, warm theater, tummy full; 50 minutes)
Enchanted (exhaustion, not engaged; 10 minutes)
Alvin and the Chipmunks (exhaustion, not engaged; 10 minutes)
Youth Without Youth (film too high brow, tummy full; 15 minutes)

For General Delivery

2008-01-08T11:24:00.000-06:00

Just after the holidays, I went to the main post office in downtown Minneapolis. It is a stunningly beautiful, wonderful and amazing art deco building along the Mississippi riverfront. If you’re ever in downtown Minneapolis, and you have any interest in historic buildings or art deco, you absolutely must see it.

I was there to mail a few packets prior to a meeting that Mrs. Duf and I had downtown. I walked in, and I stood in a line labeled “general delivery.” I’m embarrassed to say that I thought that was the line for me because I was just mailing some packets.

I’ll confess that I noticed that the customers were different than the customers I typically see in the post offices I frequent in St. Anthony Park and at the airport.

When I reached the front of the line and then the calendar, I presented my envelopes to be mailed, and the clerk politely indicated that I was in the wrong line.

I walked along the lengthy main corridor toward the line I was supposed to be in, and as I made my way, it became clear to me what “general delivery” meant.

General delivery is the place you go to receive your mail when you don’t have an address.

The general delivery line was extra busy, because it was early in the month, and checks had just been sent.

It was a reminder to me that the struggles that middle-class Americans face (the burdens of navigating stressful and expensive holidays, the trappings of the material life) are small and ridiculous compared to the struggles that others face.

This post office visit reminded me of an interesting exercise that my dear friend shared with me last year. It set forth standards that were designed to indicate whether you identify with the wealthy, the middle class, or the poor.

For the wealthy, it articulated standards like: you have a favorite restaurant in multiple cities in Europe, or you own more than a few pieces of original art, etc.

For the middle class it noted things like: you take annual vacations, and you know how to get your children into college and little league.

For the poor: you know who to call if your power is about to be shut off, or you know how to get care if you’re sick but lack insurance.

Walking through the inventory, I was not surprised to find that I solidly identified with the middle class. I was a bit shocked that I more closely identified with the wealthy than I did with the poor. I have favorite restaurants in cities all over the United States, but not in Europe (yet). I do own original art a few pieces, but I typically buy one a year. I have no clue where to go for help when times are hard.

For good or bad, it is the type of thing I tend to think about when, from time to time, circumstance gives me a gentle reminder.

You might have a day (like we did yesterday) when you’re tempted to complain about the $350 December utility bill that just arrived in the mail at your home address. And on those days it might be helpful to remember that someone else might be complaining about how long the line is for general delivery mail.

In My Utopia, Dennis is Still Our Nominee; or: [sigh]...

2008-01-07T12:23:00.001-06:00

I took this political quiz, and here's how it ranked the candidates for me (no surprise at the top (or bottom), but after that a few surprises):

Democrats:

Dennis Kucinich (no surprise there at all)
Mike Gravel
Christopher Dodd
Bill Richardson
Barack Obama
Joe Biden
Hillary Clinton
John Edwards

Then the Republicans:

Ron Paul
Rudy Giuliani
John McCain
Mitt Romney
Fred Thompson
Duncan Hunter
Mike Huckabee

Based on this (and viability - I've long been a fan of Kucinich), I guess I'm an Obama man - though I've been backing Edwards the most. And no, I don't plan to have the quiz make my political selection.

Well, It's Better than Nothing

2007-12-12T19:51:00.000-06:00

This is the first in a series of responses to a quote from a likely caucus goer in Iowa. I heard the quote while listening to an NPR piece last week. The quote follows:

“I see a real philosophical difference between me and many of those who’ve spoken here. I want to be in charge of my healthcare. I was paralyzed. I had polio. My parents paid for that. They chose to find doctors who performed three surgeries on me. I can walk. I don’t want that dictated by the federal government, and I think what I hear is all this emotion - this tugging at the heartstrings. It’s bigger than that. What’s the federal government responsible for? It isn’t for making laws that tell me that I can’t eat trans fat. That’s my choice. That’s my choice. And, you know, I am single. I am self-employed. I make a great deal of money through my own hard work. I don’t want to pay for someone else’s child to eat breakfast at school anymore. You know, that it not the role of the federal government.”

Many questions came to mind when I heard this speaker. Among them was...

Should the government play a role in healthcare?

In August of 2006, the Census Bureau released data showing that in 2005, 46.6 million Americans were uninsured. This translated to 15.9 percent of Americans. The 2005 number represented an increase of 1.3 million uninsured over 2004. The number of children who are uninsured rose from 7.9 million in 2004 to 8.3 million in 2005. Source

In the most recent data I could find, an additional 16 million people are underinsured. Among those who are underinsured, 54% percent report going without needed care and 46% report being contacted by collection agencies seeking payment against health care bills. Source

Now, I can (and do) understand that a number of people have the Horatio Alger/Ronald Reagan belief that if you work hard and make good choices, then you’ll prosper. Those same people also feel that if, in spite of your earnestness and zeal, you do encounter difficulties, then you should not turn to the federal government for help. That’s a role for family and churches and charities.

There are at least six flaws to this argument:

1. Not everyone is blessed with the same talents and resources. Even if all of us had the same work ethic and the same desire for independence, we cannot all be CEO’s or self-employed superstars. All economic models count on it, but especially our pseudo-capitalism. Some occupy lower wage positions, so that goods and services we purchase at market are affordable for all of us. For example, someone has to cook fast food (and someone has to do it during school hours when teenagers are unavailable), and those who cook fast food cannot be paid six figure incomes – Big Macs would cost a fortune.

2. Earnest, hard-working, zealous people sometime encounter situations where, through no fault of their own, they lose insurance and still require care. The NPR piece from which the quote above was taken, started with a woman discussing her experience with breast cancer. She said that she lost her job and her insurance while undergoing treatment. Friends held a fund-raiser to help her with her medical expenses. Those who argue that the government has no role in health care or health insurance must imagine a world where there are a lot of garage and bake sales. In the end, no one seems to argue that there’s no void to fill, the argument is about how best to fill it.

3. People who do not have insurance or are underinsured tend to wait for care. While they wait, their treatment becomes more complex and more expensive. At a certain point, even the coldest and meanest hospital will not turn them away; they are given the care they need. That care, once provided, is added to the cost of care for those who are insured. In most cases, doctors get paid whether the patient pays or not. [This also works in for plastic surgery. Surgeons charge a premium for breast augmentations so that from time to time they can do reconstructive surgery on a pro bono basis.] What this means is that either way, you pay. It’s just that in the status quo, you pay more because a health issue that could have been addressed at a lower cost when it was minor is now a major problem, and an expensive one to boot.

4. People like me, who support a single payer health insurance model, do so because we see cost efficiency in creating a very large group of insured. In this model, the healthy who consume few health care services subsidize the care provided to the sick (the way all insurance works – those who make it through the year without car crashes help pay for those who do not). Only there is a very large pool of healthy people to minimize the overall costs.

5. Those who argue for the status quo have no solution for three fundamental problems we experience today – (a) the tendency of rising healthcare costs to outpace inflation by a significant margin, (b) the resulting increase in insurance costs, and (c) the reality that an HMO may deny your prescribed treatment (or refuse to pay for it). These two phenomena illustrate fundamental flaws in the current model.

6. Last, if you strip it all away, you’re left with two things: philosophy (“that’s not the role of the government”) and mistrust (“I don’t want the federal government interfering in…” or, “the federal government will make a mess of it…”). But you can’t treat catastrophic ailments with philosophy. And even under the single payer model, no one envisions an end to an individual’s right to obtain their own insurance and their own care on their own terms. [I’m also tickled that those who have problems with the federal government devoting dollars and resources to insuring everyone, seem to have less of a problem with the $475 billion dollars (and counting) we’re spending in Iraq.]

Heartstrings or no, we end up paying anyway. Let’s treat minor ailments before they become major illnesses. Let’s see that everyone, especially children, is insured. Let’s leverage our ample resources and our government infrastructure to insure the uninsured and adequately insure the underinsured.

A Real Philosophical Difference

2007-12-06T20:34:00.000-06:00

Earlier this week, NPR interviewed likely Iowa caucus goers. You will find it here. Republicans and Democrats attended. Before asking them about the candidates they will support, Steve Inskeep asked them about the issues that are important to them. One Democrat attendee started the conversation by discussing healthcare and her experiences as a breast cancer survivor. She made an excellent point:

“It became crystal clear to me when I got my diagnosis, and when I had to take the Family Medical Leave Act, that unless my dear friends in Batavia, Illinois, had had an enormous fundraiser for myself and another single mom, we would not have been able to survive. And we had insurance. The whole health insurance thing is absolutely scary. You only have health insurance as long as you are healthy enough to go to your job and work.”

Moments later, a Republican woman offered the following response:

“I see a real philosophical difference between me and many of those who’ve spoken here. I want to be in charge of my healthcare. I was paralyzed. I had polio. My parents paid for that. They chose to find doctors who performed three surgeries on me. I can walk. I don’t want that dictated by the federal government. And I think what I hear is all this emotion - this tugging at the heartstrings. It’s bigger than that. What’s the federal government responsible for? It isn’t for making laws that tell me that I can’t eat trans fat. That’s my choice. That’s my choice. And, you know, I am single. I am self-employed. I make a great deal of money through my own hard work. I don’t want to pay for someone else’s child to eat breakfast at school anymore. You know, that it not the role of the federal government.”

I was so blown away by the Republican woman’s comments that I’d like to respond to them over a few shorter posts rather than one long one. I’ll end with the question she asked – what is the role of the federal government, but I’ll start (tomorrow) with a different question.

Should the federal government play a role in health care?

In the Immortal Words of Cher: "If I Could Turn Back Time..."

2007-12-05T19:06:00.000-06:00

Today at noon, Minnesota Public Radio aired an address that Al Gore gave this summer at the Aspen Institute. You can find it here.

As I listened, I found myself nearly overwhelmed by sadness and regret. He was so articulate and so passionate about something productive and positive. On hearing him, one cannot help but draw comparisons to the inarticulate ideologue, the miserable failure currently dwelling at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (in body if not in spirit).

Gore was candid and funny, but more than anything, I had this really weird sense that his words were his own. That he could (shock, gasp, awe) speak (wait for it) extemporaneously.

As I thought about it more, I realized that a lot of my complete apathy toward the Presidential nomination process is really owing to how devastated I was/am by the Supreme Court election in 2000 and (perhaps even more so) by the also tainted outcome in 2004. I still see both as unqualified indictments of the American electorate.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve paid attention, and I have my favorite Democratic candidates But, I have not donated, volunteered, or even really thought about donating or volunteering.

Still, I’m slowly starting to revert to form. I find myself listening more, reading more, caring more, thinking about it all more, and talking about it more. I'm quite sure I'll be burned again, but I cannot help but touch the hot stove that is Presidential politics.

Anywho, my plan is to weigh on in the selection process over the days leading up to the Iowa caucus.

For now, give me one more day of “what could have been” malaise.

No Country for Old Men, Reviewed (with the ILIM Spoiler Free Guarantee)

2007-12-03T10:39:00.000-06:00

I will be very surprised if I see a movie this year or next that I like more than I liked "No Country for Old Men." In my view, it is flawless.

I must confess that I'm a fan of the Coen brothers. I have seen all of their major motion pictures, and I love them all. I even like "The Hudsucker Proxy, Intolerable Cruelty and The Ladykillers." Of them all, I like "Barton Fink" the least - and I like it quite a lot. "The Big Lebowski" is an obsession.

What distinguishes "No Country for Old Men" is the phenomenal script, based on what must be a superb novel (it's on my wish list), and the Coen brothers' unrivaled ability to establish setting. They do this with hyperbole, there's no question about it. Arizona and Minnesota are not as typed as they appeared in "Raising Arizona" and "Fargo," but in both instances, we come to understand something about both places by virtue of the care they take to display what distinguishes them from every other place in the world.

And the Texas of NCfOM is a hard place. It’s as hard as Calechee. You know this from the first minute of the film. Their Texas is inhabited by people of uncommon wit, characters all, soulful men and women who give the tragedy its heft.

Every single actor turns in a very strong performance. Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin and Kelly Macdonald are amazing, but Woody Harrelson, Javier Bardem and Tess Harper are not to be ignored. Last, two supporting roles appeal for a new way to describes actors who are not in the lead Garrett Dillahunt is wonderful (and funny), and Barry Corbin is asked to carry a scene of tremendous importance, the titular scene in fact, and he does it with the natural ease or a practiced professional.

I recommend NCfOM without hesitation, and would only caution those who have trouble with violence to brace themselves for a few unpleasant scenes.

When you go, make sure to laugh. The first third of the movie is full of the Coen brothers' patented humorous touches - enjoy them. And make sure to pay close attention throughout. On the surface, the movie is a slow-paced action film, but at its heart, it’s literature - full of the higher truths that we gain from all the great works.

TinyE's Christmas List; or: Sign #73 That We're in Trouble

2007-11-29T13:07:00.000-06:00

Taken verbatim* from TinyE's recent letter to Santa Claus -

Laptop
Love**
Toys
Fancy clothes
Wii
Diamond Ring***

She's 6 years old. 6. Years. Old.

Where on earth will she go from here? I suspect next year, TinyE will ask for a cruise on the QM2 or a pearl necklace or both.

And let's not kid ourselves here. She gets her desire for material things from her father and his ancestors. I mean, here's my Christmas wish list:

This jacket
This watch
These tennis shoes

Okay, just kidding. Although I do like the jacket (I saw it in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, and I looked very handsome in it and might have worn it home if not for the small matter of the big price).

What I really want is:

This book
These jeans (in black, dark stonewash and new metal)
And about 5 of these hats (skip the blue periwinkle/paperwhite and the deep periwinkle/vapor gray please) - why five? I need a hats to wear home from the gym, and...um...they...um...kinda require washing after one use there and everything.****

What's on your wish list?

* Totally verbatim.
**Don't be fooled or say "awwwwwww" this is designed to appeal to Santa's softer side and increase her chances of getting her requested items.
***We...er...Santa found an possible ring for her here. But Santa's not sure he can cover the ring and the Wii in the same Christmas season.
****TMI?

Whaddup Gansta?; or ILIM Reviews American Gangster (with the patented ILIM Spoiler Free Guarantee)

2007-11-22T20:42:00.000-06:00

Mrs. Duf and I went to see "American Gangster" the other day. I went in having heard two general comments about AG. First, that it was good. Second, that it was long.

On the surface, AG purports to be about Frank Lucas, a man who killed a lot of people with heroin (and made a fortune doing it). And while AG is a fine character study of Lucas, the film is not just about him. It's about two men: Frank Lucas and Richie Roberts. There is much to admire in how Director Ridley Scott tells the story, but perhaps what I admired most was how, over the course of the film (and before they ever meet), Lucas and Roberts are drawn closer together. Even though I knew of Lucas, and how his story plays out, somehow I was surprised by most of what took place after Lucas and Roberts finally make contact.

Denzel Washington is phenomenal. No surprise there. Frankly, he dazzles in just about every movie he's in (he was even pretty darn good in "The Preacher's Wife"). I've loved his work since St. Elsewhere. Russell Crowe is also very, very good (In AG, I think Denzel was meant to shine, and did; there were times when it seemed Crowe was restraining himself and pointing inward purposefully letting Washington take center stage).

And there were times when I wished for a bit more style from the Mr. Scott. The story is told well. Every scene is shot with evident skill, but I wouldn't have minded a bit more art (close ups, slow motion, non-traditional camera placement, something). While I'm at it, many of the minor characters are so ignored, that when their moments of note arrive, we either have no sense for who they are, or we don't care what happens to them. AG is so focused on Lucas and Roberts that everyone else seems to exist only to support them.

So, the film is just an excellent character study about two men of note, played by two actors who impress at every turn. And perhaps Ridley Scott intentionally dialed back the pieces of flair. I should give the man credit for realizing that Washington and Crowe could power the film and then some. They do.

AG is definitely worth seeing, and, if you're like me, it won't seem long at all.

Fifty Five Things (in the Order in which They Came to Me)

2007-11-22T20:34:00.000-06:00

My wife
My daughter
My mother and brother
My brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law
My mother-in-law and father-in-law
My cousins and all my relatives
My friends. Every one of them. Every single one
My comfortable life
My home
My health
My access to health-care
My diet
My safety
My education
My intelligence
My race
My age
My geographical location
My birthplace
My nature
My nurturing
My weight and Weight Watchers
Reliable transportation
My bicycles, both of them
My neighbors; my neighborhood
My ability to wake up without an alarm clock
That no one was hurt in the car crash this summer
Meaningful work where I feel valued; my job and my colleagues
My successes and my failures
Wilco
My wardrobe – that I have comfortable clothes to wear
My luxuries and privileges
Fifth Sunday (months with five Sundays)
Months with three paydays
Anytime Fitness
The egg sandwich
TinyE’s first tooth came out today while many of her relatives watched
My golf clubs
My phone call with my Grandmommy (the nonagenarian) earlier today
Cabernet Sauvignon and Malbec
Kansas University, and, within that, Kansas Jayhawk football
The good news we had about the scary thing that happened this year
Tofurky
Every bad poem I wrote this year; that I’m still writing while I struggle
Text messaging
Lentils
Spoon River
My hand doesn’t hurt anymore
Como Lake and Phalen Lake
Most every piece of art TinyE gives me
The strong field of Democratic candidates
Keren Ann
April 15, 2008
January 20, 2009

Yes, this humble, shabby blog and friends who stop by from time to time and that some folks endured my unannounced hiatus earlier this year. I am thankful for you and for all these other things.

I hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful.

I'm Pretty Sure that in a Past Life I was Russian

2007-11-20T19:32:00.000-06:00

Yep. It’s true, and yes, I feel weird saying it. But I’ve really come to think it’s true. Here’re ten reasons why:

1. I love Russian literature.

2. When I was in college, as a Political Science major, I studied Sovietology.

3. I love vodka innately.

4. I moved from Kansas to Minnesota (perhaps for a climate that more closely resembles the one I knew in the past).

5. To me, the sexiest accent of all is the Russian accent.

6. When I was in high school, I listened to Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake every day (literally). I love it innately. I love Tchaikovsky in general (especially his Variations on a Rococo theme (I also love the cello)).

7. I love Matryoshka dolls, and own a set featuring Russian leaders.

8. In general I have an affinity for Eastern Europe. For example, I really like the Polish director Krzysztof Kieslowski.

9. I have Socialist tendencies.

10. I really want to visit Russia, especially Moscow and St. Petersburg.

A little weird for a black kid from Kansas, no?

Also, to add a little but of nuts to this heaping serving of crazy, I think I died in a muddy battle field. This would explain my fear of mud (I really am afraid of mud).

What's Going On?

2007-11-15T09:27:00.000-06:00

Pew Charitable Trusts will issue a report today with startling news about African-Americans and downward mobility. A related article is found here.

The study might also apply to me. I was born to a middle class family (my father, a dentist, died when I was 8; my mother is a retired Psychiatric Nurse and mental health counselor). I never really had a sense for my parents income (or my mother’s), but I grew up with everything I needed and most of what I wanted.

Many African-Americans, who had a background similar to my own, have now fallen into the lowest income quintile.

Some quotes from the article referenced above:

For every parental income group, white children are more likely than black children to move ahead of their parents' economic rank, while black children are more likely than white children to fall behind."

Forty-five percent of black children whose parents were "solidly middle income" fall back into the lowest earnings bracket, compared with just 16 percent of white children.

Forty-two percent of children born to parents at the bottom of the income distribution remain at the bottom while 39 percent born to parents at the top, stay at the top.

From a different article (which may require a login):

…the reduction has been more dramatic for black men than whites. And income for white women, who were less likely than black women to work outside the home a generation ago, has grown faster than it has for black women. Black women earned a median income of $21,000 in 2004, almost equal to that of white women. Black men had a median income of $25,600, less than two-thirds that of white men.

Another reason so many middle-class blacks appear to be downwardly mobile is likely the huge wealth gap separating white and black families of similar incomes. For every $10 of wealth a white person has, blacks have $1.

I’m pretty sure that I have exceeded the income of my mother, but I’m not positive. I cannot comment on how my household income would compare to the household income I would have had (adjusted for inflation) had my father lived.

I can say that I’m nearly obsessed with wealth transfer. TinyE was barely one month old when her 529 plan was started. The goal is for her to go to college and to finish without the burdens of, or with manageable student loan debt. Often I think we need to start an IRA or a mutual fund for her to take advantage of the exponential growth available to those who start investing early (even $50 per month started at age 6 would be hard to catch up to by investing significantly more starting at age 21). When I articulate my visceral reaction, I don’t want her to experience downward mobility, but when I think about it divorced from larger societal considerations, I hope she will pursue the path she desires and won’t focus on income in the way that I did and do.

Mrs. Duf, who is white, sees the value in planning for our future and for our daughter's future, but she approches that from a place of logic, without my manic posture.

At any rate, something is horribly wrong. My theory: education discrepancies, incarceration discrepancies, bias, and larger pressures against middle and lower middle class families.

Regulating the Circulation; or: a Damp Drizzly November in My Soul

2007-11-14T15:56:00.000-06:00

On 14 November 1851, the greatest novel of all time was published:

"Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can."

That's right, Moby Dick was published today.

Yes, I love it. Yes, I am obsessed with it. Yes, I'm a nerd.

Anyone up for a few years asea, whaling?

A Tragic Villian

2007-11-13T09:43:00.000-06:00

This is an interesting article about a book written by a damaged man. I could not imagine myself buying the book (I hate the idea that my gesture there would line the pockets of a figure I find to the cause/source of a lot of harm), and I was thankful for the summary. Like most, this man is a hypocrite. He has a phenomenal anger at Yale University, and an inexplicable regard for Ronald Reagan. And, in point of fact, both have done him equal harm (his view, not my own). Most troubling about the article is how well it explains the extent to which our tainted nurturing and personal grievances can become the foundations of our philosophies. For most of us it doesn’t matter on such a grand scale. Here it does.

Paul and Sheila

2007-10-26T12:26:00.001-05:00

Five years ago today our state lost two great people. Paul and Sheila Wellstone were a sterling example of the Minnesota spirit and character. I admired them so much for their focus on the forgotten. Paul got his start in public service as a community organizer working against poverty in Southern Minnesota (bringing attention to an issue that is easy to ignore here. Southern Minnesota is home to Rochester (think Mayo clinic) and Northfield (“cows, colleges and contentment”) and it would be easy to assume that poverty was not a big issue in that region.

I won’t go into too much more about Paul and Sheila. This article offers a fine tribute and gives a real sense for the impact they continue to have on Minnesota. Instead, I want to share how I learned of the Senator’s death (at the time, I didn’t know others were with him when his plane crashed).

Mrs. Duf, a very young TinyE, and I were driving up north for a weekend with my book club. As we drove, we listened to CD’s and didn’t use the radio. TinyE slept. As we got close to the cabin we’d rented for the weekend, we stopped at the Split Rock Lighthouse. Arriving to the entrance to the State park, we were pretty happy. We might even have been skipping and whistling. Northern Minnesota is so beautiful this time of year. All colors greeted us wherever we went.

The guard who worked the entrance station sobered us up very quickly. She was crying. She said “I assume you haven’t heard.”

We said “no, what happened?”

And that’s when we learned of the tragedy.

She added “he was a real friend of the State Parks.

And true enough, he was. In point of fact, he was a friend to so many.

Two Movie Reviews (with the patented ILIM "Spoiler free guarantee")

2007-10-20T17:27:00.000-05:00

I got a couple of movie reviews for ya'.

Michael Clayton – George Clooney is fabulous. He’s the rare superstar who inhabits a role so fully that you almost forget he’s a superstar. He was very, very good in Syriana, and I dare say, even better in Michael Clayton. Tilda Swinton is also amazing as the (clichéd) single career woman who is willing to sacrifice too much for advancement - I smell an Oscar (or at least a nomination) for her here. Clayton showcases complex characters, well acted with a wonderful script to boot. If there’s a flaw, it’s the second act, which was a little to cops and robbers for my tastes. But the first and third acts make up for the second by a country mile.

In the Valley of Elah – is not the feel good movie of the year, but it is well worth seeing. Tommy Lee Jones plays a father whose son returns from Iraq (without saying anything to his parents about being back home) and then goes AWOL. Jones goes to look for him. On the surface, it’s a film about the Iraq war, but in point of fact, it’s a film about fathers and sons, or, more aptly, about parenthood. It’s a fine conversation about the obligations that one generation owes to another. It seems we get worse as we age and that we fail to meet our responsibility to those who will follow us. True enough. Elah is not hard to watch (it isn't a war film with gory battle scenes it is more of a whodunit), but it isn’t easy either (if I weren't such super manly man, I might have even teared up during a scene or two, but I assure you that I did not tear up during a couple of scenes). Jones is great. Susan Sarandon is almost given a role to play and does a lot with her underwritten character, and I didn’t even recognize Charlize Theron until I saw the end credits, but she was solid as well. I don’t get the sense that Elah is doing extremely well at the box office, but I recommend it to you without reservation.

What a Short Strange Trips It's Been

2007-10-04T13:55:00.000-05:00

Hello from pleasant business travels that will take me home to Minnesota very soon.

First, I was in Santa Ana, California, about 2,000 yards (and at one point about 20 yards) away from this. I learned that it's hard to sleep when there are helicopters circling your hotel.

Then, I went to Phoenix and spent some time in the terminal where this* happened.

But it's all good, because last night I went to this.

The lessons, if any there are:

1. Don't steal a car. Especially don't steal a car that has On Star in it. Last, if you steal a car with On Star in it, then don't shoot at the police. All these truths are especially true in Southern California.

2. Also, be careful in the Phoenix airport. Or, if you're not careful, then attempt to calm yourself whilst you are in custody**.

3. Cubs in five.

I hope this post finds you doing well.

*Not my best link, I was not near the autopsy, I was near the scene that led to the autopsy.

**ILIM has not found conclusive evidence to support the assignment of blame and therefore concludes that tragedy is generous and its cruel bounty knows no limits; all involved are victims.

Delusional Dangerous Hypocrite

2007-09-27T11:26:00.000-05:00

Among the many and shifting justifications for our war against Iraq was the neo-conservative idea that we could bring democracy to the Middle East.

Now, Myanmar has mounted an impressive and credible effort to establish a democracy, and all we have for them is rhetoric (wrapped in name calling) and a vow to increase sanctions.

Meanwhile, in America, we’re just starting to recognize how hostile the Bush Administration has been toward many of our cherished liberties. Will the Supreme Court stand up if rulings challenging provisions of the PATRIOT Act are brought before it for review?

The idea that we could bring democracy to the Middle East (through war no less) is absurd.

The name calling and empty words really show that our President was either lying or lacks the strength of his convictions.

All the while our freedoms here are and have been under attack by the man who would dare to take them elsewhere.

Really Long Fights with Chickens; or: Current Guilty Pleasures

2007-09-20T23:02:00.001-05:00

Dr. 90210 - sad and compelling in a sociological, applied-misogyny kind of way*.

The First 48 - I wish I was a homicide cop, but I'd be brutal in the interrogation room**.

Intervention - still can't shake it after about 30 episodes***. "I've been here since yesterday, and I see some people who love you like crazy."

Wife Swap - it's a sickness, I'm almost ready to get help, I just want to check out the upcoming season real quick like.

Big Medicine, or any one of several shows on TLC about the morbidly obese - I watch because Mrs. Duf does. I can walk away any time.

(next link has noise, check your volume!)...

Family Guy - I think this show is for 18 to 24 year old males, but it still makes this old man titter and giggle quite a bit. Watch this. If you don't find it funny, then don't watch the show, but at least you'll understand why I describe it as a guilty pleasure. "b-kaaaw!"

Chelsea Lately - Chelsea Handler is on my list of uncommon celebrity crushes (future post?). I would totally go out to dinner with her, and I'd be a gentleman the entire night****.

*Many Beverly Hills plastic surgeons profit from the beauty myth, sadness and low self-esteem. What they say to women who come in seeking consultations is pure, unfiltered hate-infused sexism. It makes me sick, but yet I watch it. Nice.

**Most cases crack wide open because people can't keep their mouths shut. Keep snitchin!

***Enduring lesson: drugs are bad (Nancy Reagan was right). During every show, they have this moment where you go down memory lane with the addict and learn a bit about why they are addicted. It is always the best part. I rarely dislike the addicts (but sometimes I do), I often dislike some co-dependent person in the life of the addict. Weird phenomenon/general rule with exceptions - sometimes fathers are excused from absenteeism or misbehavior, mother's rarely are. An imperfect dad does not seem to inspire the kind of pathos and hate an imperfect mom inspires. Theories anyone?

****Mrs. Duf is not on board with this plan.

See...What Had Happened Was...Um...Okay...I've No Excuse Actually...

2007-09-20T22:52:00.001-05:00

I'm ready to blog again.

Where was I?

Oh, I was really, really busy with work and home. It was, on the whole, a good busy.

I missed blogging, and I'm happy to be back. I needed to adjust to a new life schedule and figure out how to incorporate the odd opinion here and there.

After such an absence, I know I'll have to build my readers up again.

I'm willing to try.

Some highlights from my absence:

We went on a family vacation to central Iowa (don't hate).
TinyE and I went to the Wisconsin Dells and overdosed on waterpark fun.
TinyE started first grade.
I got a promotion.
I went to a divine Wilco concert in Duluth.
I bought a new Scrabble board (it swivels - drink Haterade, it'll help).
Mrs. Duf and I joined Weight Watchers and are doing quite well actually (I've had to buy new pants and stuff).
TinyE and I went to the State Fair.

I missed blogging and the blogosphere and checked in on friends and sites from time to time, waiting...

...just waiting until I could return again.

I missed you all (and hope you missed me just a tiny bit too).

More to follow (and more often*).

*Not that that's saying much!

On Celebrities and Their Causes

2007-06-25T06:36:00.000-05:00

"In the 21st century, what does America want to do? The 2008 election might give some clues. Whoever wins holds the most powerful office in the world, which is why the world is so interested. As an Irish bystander, I think the candidate most likely to succeed is the one who most people can believe can build respect for the American flag in the wider world. Figuring out how to do that is America's great challenge. Our global challenge is figuring out what to do about the extreme, stupid poverty which sees millions die each year because they are too poor to live. Nowhere more than Africa. Is it too much of a stretch to think these challenges can be connected? It's hard to hate a country which puts your kids in school and gives medication to save your husband's life."

Bono

I have some friends who criticize celebrities who promote causes. Whether the criticism is fair or cynical depends on the sincerity of the celebrity. It seems to me that for every celebrity using a cause to elevate his or her profile, there is at least one who is sincere. The length of time promoting a cause and the sincerity of the effort offer clues that allow us to separate the self-serving celeb from the caring citizen. For his tenure and his passion, I put Bono in the latter category.

Silly post script - Recently, I saw a bumper sticker I really liked. It read: "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you."

Enjoy your day.

Vacation/Father's Day

2007-06-18T16:21:00.000-05:00

Vacation

Hello reader(s) – I recognize that I may have lost a few readers with my lengthy break from blogging. I was on vacation and just didn’t send word out to y’all!

We went to the North Shore of Lake Superior, and it was wonderful. I recommend it to you all. Did you know the lake has 4 quadrillion gallons of water in it? Well, it does.

Father’s Day

My gifts:

Four hand made pieces of art by my favorite artist, TinyE including a card which read (on the front):

I am a cat

(and on the inside)

You are a cat.
I love you.
Love TinyE

(and on the back)

You are the best

And, as if that wasn’t enough, she also gave me:

Four quarters.
Three dimes.
Two pennies.

Or, $1.32.

Don’t hate.

I missed you all. More writing more often (that’s the goal anyway)…

Brother Can You Spare an Electric Car?

2007-05-07T12:57:00.000-05:00

Okay, can I complain about gas prices for a second?

My complaint is not the price itself (although paying $40+ for a tank of gas is shocking to me), it's the reason cited for the high price.

Supposedly, refining is down because refineries are undergoing much needed maintenance. Well, just as it's not a good idea to renovate a school during the school year, it seems odd to me that refineries would undergo maintenance just before the season when demand is at its peak.

In other words, why cut production when demand is rising?

Add that oil companies have had at least 6 consecutive quarterly earning records, and I'm frustrated.

I heard a news story indicating that deregulation (under Reagan) allows the artificial manipulation of supply to increase price (and revenue...income).

Whatever the reason, it strikes me as a bad idea to allow a resource that ultimately impacts the cost of everything to be so vulnerable to the basest corporate skullduggery.

It also slays me that the political party that claims to favor small business is fiddling away while the fire rages.

LOA, Whiter Teeth, Fresher Breath

2007-05-02T17:18:00.000-05:00

Hello readers!

Sorry to be MIA. Work has kept me busy (but it's been challenging and meaningful work, and I enjoy my job very, very much).

There's no graceful way to transition from my somber post about the Virginia Tech tragedy, but I do owe you all a post about my experience with Crest Whitestrips. So, let this be just one more absurd juxtaposition in a world of absurd juxtapositions.

So, here's my experience with Crest Whitestrips:

My teeth are noticeably whiter, but not the super-mega laser white that some get by using the super mega laser thing. They're actually a nice, natural white. Overall, I'm pleased.

But...

The Whitestrips are a bit of a drag, here's why -

First, you are supposed to use them twice a day for thirty minutes. That's not a complaint, just an observation.

Second, talking while they are on is difficult.

Third, they're pretty good for commutes, but...you're advised not to wear them immediately after brushing your teeth. So, if you're like Duf, you can't wear it on your morning commute (just brushed) or your evening commute (talking on the phone*).

Fourth, them don't taste no good. Them really don't.

Fifth, the reason I know they don't taste good is because the tape slides a bit when you move your mouth (in fairness, this might not be a reflection on the Whitestrips so much as it is a reflection on my inability to keep my mouth still - but I assume my struggle here would be the average user's struggle). To me, this is the biggest flaw (when I shopped for the strips, I noticed that some Crest competitors have trays. If you're considering low budge** whitening, I would really steer you toward a tray. I really would.

Sixth, the packaging is far from descriptive. As you use the Whitestrips, questions will come to mind. It would be great if those questions were answered by the packaging. One question I had was - what should I do after removing the strip? Rinse? With what? Another question I had was - is there any impact if I skip a day? Is ten consecutive days ideal?

Last, opening the packages which contain the strip, and applying the strip is not easy. It's also messy.

But I sound more unhappy with my whitening experience, and I'm not. I would do it again, but I'd probably lean toward a tray-based whitening solution.

*But not while driving, natch. Ahem.

**"low budge" is short for "low budget" and is used here to describe the over-the-counter solution. The other options are fitted trays supplied by a dental professional and the super-mega laser thingy. I assume there are other options.

"What can we...?"

2007-04-19T13:20:00.000-05:00

First, my sincere and heartfelt sympathies go out to everyone in the Virginia Tech community. I have been thinking almost nonstop about all of those who lost a friend or loved one, and those who are part of that university’s community*.

I wanted to write sooner, but, truth is, I’ve been avoiding the world. I’ve been avoiding television news, the web, and the newspaper. I’m in the middle of a bit of a funk, and it expresses itself in the form a profound (deep and sincere) concern about our country**. We celebrate cruelty in the form of shock radio. Per capita, we have a higher rate of homicide and other violent crime (not war related) than any other country in the world. We worship guns and despise public schools. When tragedy strikes, we seem to ask all the wrong questions.

In the moments after the tragedy, news media raced to Blacksburg to cover the horrific event. I understand that. Pointed questions were directed at the university administration, and, to a certain extent, I understand that too (I might have asked them much later). But the next morning, while watching CNN (my finger on the remote for a quick channel change in case TinyE walked into the room), I heard a reporter say “all over America people are waking up, and they’re asking the same question…”

Then he said “how did this happen?”

That is not the question I was asking. I wasn’t even really asking “why” yet. I was still stuck on “what.”

What can we do to support Virginia Tech and Blacksburg?
What can we do to decrease hate?
What can we do to change the direction of our country?

I really, really feel that America is heading for collapse. I don’t think of myself as a fatalist, but we do so many horrible things, and our after-the-fact analysis seems to make it worse, not better. We seem to ask the wrong questions. As a result, we propose the wrong solutions. I’m just waiting for some deeply misguided fool to argue that if there were more guns, this type of crime would be less likely to happen.

One other thought on this horrible tragedy with the prospect of more later. I’m 100% convinced that, after mass murders of this sort, we should all but ignore the perpetrator. It is appropriate to say who he or she was. It is appropriate to offer a small note of what was wrong with him or her. But posting manifestos, publishing photos, linking to videos – it all has the effect of giving a forum for hate, sickness and cruelty. For our brothers and sisters who are damaged and contemplate the same kind of horror, they can count on disrupting the President’s schedule***, putting flags all over the country at half mast, and getting tons and tons of attention and publicity. The Columbine assassins acknowledged that they would be notorious, and the Blacksburg assassin did as well (if only impliedly). I don’t suggest that providing the showcase creates or even inspires the crime, but I don’t think it helps matters at all. What if our response was to say:

"Cho Seung-Hui is the suspected gunman. He was a senior at Virginia Tech. He had a history of mental illness. He is survived by two parents who need our support and compassion."

Make all the other things (photos, videos, manifestos, etc.) available to those who need to see them. Years later, open them for the public to see. But so soon after the tragedy, I think it would be better to turn all the hate and violence into a call for compassion and love.

More than anything, when bad things happen, I’d like for us to ask different questions…start them with “what can we…”

*A colleague has a nephew at Virginia Tech, and a former colleague has a daughter there. Both are alive and did not lose a close friend in the tragedy, but both are part of the VT community.

**Don Imus, the ignorant response to Imus’s appalling (and long-standing) bigotry, the recent Supreme Court opinion contracting abortion rights, increases in poverty and the gap between the rich and poor, Alberto Gonzales - the whole DO”J”, and a horrible, horrible crime in Minneapolis aren’t helping matters any. If our country were a coalmine, there would be dead canaries everywhere and millions of us walking around with no oxygen masks on wondering why we have a headache. Things are desperate in America; we’re in dire straits. We absolutely must pay attention to what's wrong and do something about it. Spike Lee said it best years ago: WAKE UP!

***And our poor President – he just lacks the moral authority to make the kind of statement he made in Blacksburg at the memorial service when he said:

“It's impossible to make sense of such violence and suffering. Those whose lives were taken did nothing to deserve their fate. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now they're gone -- and they leave behind grieving families, and grieving classmates, and a grieving nation.”

As I heard him say those words, another senseless act of violence and suffering was foremost on my mind. And it makes me sad that the leader of our country sounds hollow and hypocritical when he speaks against violence and suffering.

Step One: Rub Butter on a Piece of Tape...

2007-04-03T22:56:00.000-05:00

Call it vanity or call it vanity. I don't really care what you call it. For example, you could call it vanity.

But whatever you call it, the fact is: Duf broke down and got him some of those Crest Whitestrips. Don't hate - get your own (or get the really nice fitted mouthpiece and the gel from the dentist. You could also get lasered up - whatever you want. Duf is a man of the people, and he wanted a whiter smile without jeopardizing his ability to make the rent, the car payment, the green fees and the Modest Mouse show on April 21st at the Orpheum - I'll be there...look for the black guy).

I'd been thinking about it (it = whitening) for awhile (it all started when LJC smiled at me once in Jacksonville...one word: radiant), but when I saw a $5.00 off coupon* in the Sunday sales circular, I decided that God wanted me to have whiter teeth and fresher breath**. He also wanted me to save .25 on reduced calorie salad dressing, but we don't always see the signs that God sends us now do we?

The way it (it does not equal coupons - it = whitening) works is this. You put these gel covered pieces of plastic over your upper and lower incisors and bicuspids for 30 minutes per session - two sessions per day.

I'm on day two of ten.

Here's what I'll report so far:

After two days, my teeth are not noticeably whiter, but then the directions indicate that you'll start to notice after three days.

I have a hard time keeping the device on all of my teeth for 30 minutes. I'm constantly fidgeting with it. In some respects, it's like a popcorn piece that's stuck between your teeth. For some reason (which probably has something to do with my not being used to having a film covering my teeth, my OCD, and my oral fixation) I cannot leave it alone. I poke at it with my tongue, touch it with my fingers and constantly look at it in mirrors to make sure it's touching all the right teeth. I'm pretty sure that guys like me need a mouthpiece and a 10 day script for valium...well and someone besides me to understand the importance of putting all the pillows on the couch with the zippers down (which is not related to whiter teeth, but is related to OCD).

When the thirty minutes are over and you remove the apparatuses, your teeth are covered in gel. It's not exactly pleasant. But gurrrrl, if there's one thing Duf knows it's that beauty sometimes requires sacrifices, honey. It's why men sometimes wear uncomfortable shoes, pierce our ears, wear underwear that goes up between our butt cheeks*** and choose contact lenses over glasses.

I'll report back in eight days. If this (this = whitening) doesn't work I'll seek donations so I can go ahead on and get lasered up.

*Let's settle this once and for all, it's pronounced "koo-pon" not "cue-pon."

**The Whitestrips do not help with halitosis, but God does want me to have fresher breath.

***I don't know what one calls that kind of underwear because my life is devoted to loftier pursuits like literature, Twins baseball and teeth whitening.

Battery Charge = 100%

2007-04-02T21:43:00.000-05:00

I enjoyed a day off - one of those "catch as catch can" days off when the calendar had nothing pressing, it was Spring Break, and the weather looked like it was going to be pretty darn good.

I went to the new-ish library in downtown Minneapolis.
I played a round of golf (my four iron was on like the waffle iron at the pancake house).
I picked up TinyE early so that we could ride bikes around the lake.
I watched the Twins win the home opener.

I did not check my email (I sent one message at 7:00 a.m.) until 7:00 p.m.
I answered the calls that came (there were only two).
I did no chores (except make the bed and tote the recycling).

I read the paper.

I recharged my batteries.

An Open Letter to My Muslim Brothers and Sisters

2007-03-28T23:25:00.000-05:00

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I’m writing to share my thoughts on items recently reported by the Twin Cities media – all concerning how religious convictions impact the ability/willingness of Muslims to perform some tasks that are often considered essential to customer service jobs.

The four items that stand out the most are:

The refusal of Muslim cab drivers to transport airport customers who have alcohol (usually purchased from duty free shops) in their possession.

The refusal of Muslim cab drivers to transport customers who travel with animal companions (even if the potential passenger is blind - ouch).

The refusal of Muslim grocery store cashiers to scan pork products.

The refusal of Muslim women to appear uncovered for State ID photographs.

But you’re not alone: Some Christians refuse to dispense lawful medication based on religious grounds.

I’m sure you’re well aware that America prides itself on religious tolerance. I’m sure you’re also aware that we sometimes fall short of our ideals. Though it’s not expressly written in any of our laws, a number of our traditions and practices have their origins in Christianity. Sunday as a day of rest takes it origin from the Sabbath – not an exclusively Christian tradition, but evidence of how religion shapes our traditions.

In many ways, I see the tension between your religious beliefs and American traditions as analogous to the experience of other religious minorities. For example, Jews in America don’t get time off to observe their holy days (even though Christmas Day is a day when most workplaces are closed). In effect, Jews lose personal leave in for religious observance. Seventh Day Adventists will refuse to work their sabbath - from Friday at sundown until Saturday at sundown – though it may impact both job choice and career growth. Some faith traditions eschew electricity and modern conveniences and thrive in our country, a place that prides itself on technological and scientific advances.

But the conflict is not limited to religion. On the basis of personal ethics or morality, people in America may refuse to eat meat, or wear fur or leather. Some people refuse to ride in cars.

In America, a vegetarian may decide that working as a waiter at a steakhouse, or working as a sales clerk at a furrier is not their ideal profession.

No one has to work as a cab driver. But once one decides to do so, he or she must serve all who seek transport (unless they’re phenomenally drunk or conspicuously dangerous). No one has to work as a cashier, but once one decides to do so, he or she must scan all items available for purchase. No one has to drive, or even have a photo ID, but if one chooses to take advantages of the rights and privileges that require an ID, one must take the photo in a way that makes it useful for identification purposes.

And just as I would advise a Christian who aspires to be a pharmacist but does not want to dispense birth control to choose another profession, and just as I would advise a vegetarian who does not want to profit from the death of animals not to work at a steakhouse, I would advise you, my Muslim brothers and sisters who do not want to give cab rides to people traveling with alcohol or animals to seek other work.

No one here will force you to live outside of your faith or traditions (unless you’re faith promotes animal sacrifice or polygamy or ganja/peyote/licking those frogs or other things considered too extreme for support), but don’t expect too much accommodation either.

Realize that the failure to offer it is not related to intolerance, but actually has a practical basis. In a country where the freedom of religion is included in the Constitution, we cannot rewrite our traditions, laws, and practices to embrace every tenet. We tend to honor Christian principles more than we should – we don’t always live up to our ideals.

So my advice to you is this: follow the dictates of your heart, your conscience, and your faith, even if it means you must sacrifice in order to do so.

With sincere best wishes,

Duf

P.S. Thanks for the idea Mary!

Eyes Wide Shut

2007-03-27T10:26:00.000-05:00

Heaven.

This is just going to be a magical year*.

This new disc is so good that it makes me close my eyes.

Let me explain.

I have this weird habit of closing my eyes when I listen to music I really like**. It helps me hear it better. Er…something like that. “We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank” has many eye-closing moments for me. I love “The Lonesome Crowded West” and “The Moon and Antartica,” and longtime readers know I was reduced to a screaming teeny bopper by “Good New for People Who Love Bad News.” I don’t know yet where “We Were Dead…” fits within that amazing legacy, but it’s up there friends, it’s up there.

Will I be at the Modest Mouse show in Minneapolis next month?***

And as I type this, I’m listening to a bootleg copy**** (amazing quality, BTW) of the forthcoming Wilco album, “Sky Blue Sky”. Surprise, surprise, it’s flipping amazing.

I was going to try to see Bjork in Chicago with some rock-headed friends, but it’s on Mother’s Day weekend, and…um…I don’t have the kind of sway on the homefront.*****

P.S. The new Arcade Fire doesn’t disappoint either.

*But not in sports. [sigh]

**No, no, no, not when I’m driving, silly billy.

***Affirmative.

****Don’t rat me out please, I’ll buy multiple copies when it comes out. I’ll get the domestic, the foreign and any special editions, so, please, let me enjoy this advance ride in peace. Thanks in advance.

*****Nor would I want it. Of course I would rather be at home celebrating the three mom’s in my life instead of at the concert of my dreams.

Is it Just Me? Am I the Only One?

2007-03-18T17:26:00.000-05:00

I don't like it when cashiers comment on my purchases. I don't like it at the grocery store, the pharamacy, or at Target-type stores. I don't care for it.

Recent example from cashier who just scanned a 14.5 ounce can of stewed tomatoes:

"Oh, I use these to make goulash!"

Violet and Orville

2007-03-14T15:23:00.000-05:00

This story touched me. No, not a fairy tale, but an interesting twist on "'til death do us part."

Hello Darkness My Old Friend...

2007-03-07T20:16:00.000-06:00

The other day, TinyE and I were on our way sledding with her friend “Roni.”

The girls were gabbing away as toddlers are wont to do, and then, TinyE said –

“I wish my skin was lighter.”

Her friend replied “Oh TinyE, the outside doesn’t matter, what matters is the inside.”

And one million thoughts swirled through my head.

Here’s a sampling:

Why does my five year old daughter wish her skin was lighter?
The schools are clearly talking about tolerance and race and ethnicity, and etc.
Do TinyE and “Roni” really believe what they’re taught?
Do they really believe that skin doesn’t matter?
Or is it just something they memorize like the words to “We Shall Overcome”*
At age five, has she already observed something about the world?
Did she observe something about bias in her school?
On television?
As a child, did I ever feel that way? I guessed that I did.
Is TinyE showing, the smallest, faintest glimmer of an emerging self-esteem issue?
I found myself thinking about skin color and about the tendency, even among my people, to express a bias toward people with lighter skin.
I wondered what issues my daughter (who has a father with ancestry traceable to Africa, and a mother with ancestry traceable to Europe) will face.
I thought then about gender and class and style of dress and style of speech and hobbies or interests and all the ways we heap expectations on people, all the ways we define people we don’t really know.

But perhaps most of all –

I wondered why, at moments like this, I treat my daughter like she’s five. Why don’t I ask her why she feels that way? Why don’t I share my experiences with her? What am I waiting for?

Does not my silence now portend a more damaging silence later?

It is in keeping with my character,** but that’s no excuse. There are times when silence is wrong.

Parenthood often presents examples to prove that point.

*Which they sang in the car only moments later. Both of them know they words, even though they go to different schools.

**I’m not confrontational, in fact, I’m conflict adverse. For example, last month, I had the great good fortune to attend a basketball game between the University of Minnesota and Ohio State. The Buckeyes (Ohio State), with their sublime septuagenarian, Greg Oden, crushed our Gophers (who are in a rebuilding year or years). In the waning seconds of the game, a woman sitting in front of us, turned to friends (sitting behind us) and, speaking right past me, said that the Gophers should have played their “black team.” To sharpen her point and heighten her dullness, she added, “you know, the more athletic players.” I had two thoughts that day. First, my favorite Viking saying - “the half wise are everywhere,” and second, that’s kind of funny, because if you have a choice between me (black, but decidedly non-athletic) and my brother-in-law (white, but legendarily athletic) for your team in a pick up game of hoops, I can offer no better advice than this: pick the white guy!

I Live in Minnesota

2007-03-04T10:54:00.000-06:00

We've had some snow here in Minnesota. Yah uh huh, youbetcha.

A view of the back yard from the house. The table top gives you as sense for all the snow we received over 12 days. Yes we need a cover for our patio furniture. Thanks for noticing. Classy.

A view of the house from the driveway. What this picture does not show is the photographer, a man whose whole body hurt at the time this photo was taken.

TinyE's Poem

2007-03-02T16:53:00.000-06:00

TinyE wrote and read this poem to me:

You are a cat
You are my cat
I love you cat
Cat loves you
Oh cat

Why I Love My Neighbors: A Really Short Conversation Preceded by a Whole Lotta Background

2007-03-01T16:33:00.000-06:00

Background to a Really Short Conversation:

"Betty" is a woman who lives near us. She’s really nice. She has a ghetto fiancé* – let’s call him Steve.

Anyway, Betty and Steve are wonderful. Really, all of our neighbors are wonderful.

I am starting to entertain the notion of moving; what makes that prospect almost unbearable (besides packing up all of our stuff, moving it, and then unpacking it again) is the thought of leaving our amazing, wonderful neighbors. But we need a bigger dining room, and a bedroom for guests, a little bit more room for books, and a slightly (really just two feet) bigger kitchen. And it is a buyer's market, and there is an ideal home for sale that I keep thinking about. Well, ideal in every way except one: price.

But all of this is background for what I want to tell you.

Last week, after more than a foot of snow hit St. Paul, my neighbor Steve was kind enough to blow the snow** off our driveway. Just so you know, our driveway is 80 feet long – never get a driveway this is more than 15 or 20 feet long. It seems like a good idea at the time, but it's a bad idea.

Okay, and now I’m really done with the background.

Really Short Conversation:

Duf: I guess it’s time for me to get a snow blower.

Steve: You don’t need a snow blower as long as I’ve got one.

The Whole Point of the Really Short Conversation:

My point...and I do have one...

All of my neighbors are this thoughtful and nice. We have four neighbors with super-mega-horse-power-industrial-strenght-snow-killah snow blowers, and they practically fight over who gets to blow snow off our driveway. And it's not for love of blowing snow. Well, not really. It's just that they're cool people. In fact, I was out shoveling today*** and my other neighbor (let's call him Phineas) said he'd run over it with his snow blower if I wanted him to do so.

I'm more than happy to oblige.

*Ghetto fiancé is my term for people who are engaged with no wedding planned for any date in the foreseeable future. One of my dear friends from high school (let’s call him Hector) has been engaged for 14 years. His beloved is his ghetto fiancée (but I would never say that to his face, instead I would blog about it). People often get engaged to feel better about living together or to get others to feel alright/better about them living together.

**I don’t own a snow blower. I’d like to never own one – all they do is emit carbon dioxide. Now, you’ll notice that I don’t prevent my neighbors from using their carbon-dioxide-emitting snow blowers on my property. This is for two reasons. First, it would be really hard for me to tell the four neighbors who would offer to blow snow off my driveway not to do it (and awkward if I said why). Second, I still shovel most of the time. So, I feel it’s a net gain for mother earth.

***We're expecting between 12 and 18 inches of snow today and tomorrow. This after getting more than 12" not so long ago. But I Live in Minnesota, so what can I expect?

If Our Biggest, Glitziest Events become Drab and Dull, What Does that Say about Us?

2007-02-26T12:51:00.000-06:00

The Superbowl and the Academy Awards were both boring.

It had to be said.

The high points of the Superbowl were:

The rain
Prince’s performance at the halftime show
And um…

Similarly, the Academy Awards…

No controversial acceptance speech
No one-armed pushups.
No winner running over chair tops or kissing Sophia Loren
No impressive dresses (except for Helen Mirren who, natch, is not American)

Yes, it was great to see Scorcese finally get his Oscar, but it was also anti-climatic. As soon as Lucas, Speilberg and Coppola came out, I knew he won.

And yes, Ellen was great, she struck the proper tone: funny, but dignified.

Anyway, both events make me wonder if we’re all a bit deflated and fatigued. Also consider that American Idol is lusterless and blah. We're not psyched about Survivor like we used to be. Brittney and Anna Nicole somehow just symbolize how down we are.

And yes, the war against Iraq (or as Borat calls it, our "war of terror") would not make for a boring Superbowl game, but I could see it softening our commercials to the point where they stink the reeky, stinky stink of boringness.

And I could see it making a nominee who might wear a swan dress opt for something less fun - something understated and non-controversial.

And what would a winner, with a thought on the war and a bully pulpit of 1 billion people have to say that hasn’t already been said?

Have we reached the point where we are convinced that no one is listening, and so we’re done talking?

Have we, succumbed to a collective ennui or depression?

I think we have.

The Tale of Two Taxes

2007-02-22T15:39:00.001-06:00

Two taxes are getting attention in Minnesota these days.

The first is a cosmetic surgery tax.

On the surface I like this tax. It’s crafted so that only voluntary or elective cosmetic surgery is taxed. The logic behind it is – if you have money to get botox, you can slide a little sales tax revenue over to the Governor.

But the tax fails for me for one big reason. As I understand it, the majority of elective cosmetic surgery patients are women (the article indicates 90%, but I’ve also heard 78%). As well, the average cosmetic surgery patient apparently has an average income of $60,000. So, it seems this tax would have a disproportionate impact on women and, within that, middle class women.

Count me out.

The second is a mileage tax.

Within the world of taxes, I love, love, love this tax.

First, it’s fair. It has a voluntary component. You are taxed to the extent that you want to be taxed. People can choose to drive fewer miles than they do.

Second, it has a punitive component that holds the potential to shape behavior. If folks want to commute and super-commute, they are free to do so, but their impact on the earth and on the infrastructure is reflected in the taxes they pay. Some folks will be encouraged to drive fewer miles.

Third, it is a necessary change. Gas tax revenues are declining. That model has become antiquated, and does not seem to support infrastructure maintenance and other transportation costs. We need a new model.

However, I would change the proposal in a few ways.

Rather than going the technical route and following cars as they travel about (something that will make adoption almost impossible), I would just set up stations where folks would, once a year, pull in and report their mileage. We did it for emissions checks, we can do it again.

Second, I would create more than two tiers. I would exempt hybrids from the tax completely. I would create tiers for diesel, bio-diesel, highly efficient cars, efficient cars, inefficient cars and highly inefficient cars. Those in the highest category would be slammed. Pay up, earth killers!

The last thing that must be considered is how we tax those who must be taxed. Our current laws are replete with exceptions for small “businesses.” Those exceptions effectively create a loophole which allows citizens who are inclined to save a buck (even at the expense of what is right or fair) to create sham businesses so that their Hummer isn’t taxed as it should be. Those loopholes must be closed.

ILIM Guarantees that Hillary Clinton will Make a Different Kind of President in 2008

2007-02-20T22:11:00.000-06:00

I’ve been fascinated by articles I’ve read recently suggesting that the Republicans (and within that conservative Republicans) are torn when it comes to the 2008 Presidential election.

If the articles have it right, then their primary goal is to find someone who can beat Hillary.

I’m tickled by that for a couple of reasons.

First, they assume Hillary Clinton will be the nominee. I’m actually leaning toward Edwards. Not because I want Edwards necessarily* (and not because I don’t want him necessarily) but because I think Hillary is going to blow it on Iraq (to date she has completed messed that up), and the more folks learn about Obama, sadly, the more I think they will not see him as the first African-American to win the White House. Not a reflection on Obama, so much as it is a reflection on the electorate and its "sensibilities."

Second, in their efforts, conservatives are effectively ruling out the candidates who they like the most (it sounds down right liberal/progressive/Democrat, circa 2004. We all agreed that Bush had to go, many of us wanted Dean, but hoo-haw, we couldn’t see him winning, it so we sold Dean low and bought Kerry high, and we held his stock even as analysts advised us not to, holding on to it until he dropped off the big board completely. Well at least we weren't hit by a capital gains tax, but I digress…)

Of the five Republican candidates running or poised to run, conservatives love, love, love Mike Huckabee and Sam Brownback. But even conservatives know both are too far right to have any appeal at all where it matters most: Michigan, Ohio and Florida (everything else is pretty much decided already).

So they’re left with three options that have to leave them feeling like they’re choosing between the lesser of three evils.

John McCain has too much history. Sure, he’s cozying over to the right millimeters at a time, but no one thinks that’s anything other than an effort to broaden his appeal in the primaries. If he is nominated, everyone expects him to center-up for the general election, which means the real McCain is the one who voted against the federal ban on same sex marriage, didn’t line up behind torture, and help knock down the nuclear option during the judicial nominee kurfuffle in 2004.

Then there’s Mitt Romney. Why oh why, conservatives ask, why, oh why can’t he be a regular Christian? He’s anti-choice, he’s against same sex marriage, but he’s Mormon (gasp!). Also, there's one pesky problem. He's anti-choice and anti-same sex marriage today. Yesterday, when he wanted to be governor of Massachusetts, he was pro-choice and supported gay rights. Not the safest bet to put all your chips on if you want 8 more years of extreme social conservatism (these folks hate science people! They hate science!).

Last, but not least, is America’s Mayor (but not my Mayor), Rudy Giuliani. Ann Coulter likes to accuse 9/11 widows and widowers of profiting from tragedy, but no one, no one has profited more from 9/11 than Giuliani – no one, not even flag makers. Trust me on this, the guy is an egomaniac with an anger management problem, and, on top of it all, he’s pro-choice and supports gay rights. I hope he gets the nomination – it will guarantee us an exciting election. We can all watch while his temper boils over, he hogs up credit for things he had nothing to do with, and contemplates his fourth marriage (not that I'm judging).

And it all adds up to Democrat heaven. We can’t lose. Huckabee and Brownback are coo-coo for cocoa puffs and will not get the nod. If they do, go ahead and plug in the donkey. Democrats will win big. The other three are practically conservative Democrats – especially considered against the stubborn wacko in the White House right now.

So, no matter how it all turns out, one has to give Hilary credit for bringing change to the White House.

*I'm a Kucinich man right now. Yes, I know he will not, cannot win, but he lines up with me on the issues, and I have to support that right now. I need that right now, okay?

I Don't Mean to Brag, I Don't Mean to Boast...

2007-02-20T10:11:00.000-06:00

TinyE's teacher sent the following email to us:

I just wanted to let you know that TinyE had a great day. She was focused, did her best work, and was a great helper. I told her I would contact you and let you know about her day, and she seemed extremely excited about it.

Have a great weekend :)

Mr. T

The Conversations We Had; The Conversations I Want Us to Have

2007-02-17T12:56:00.000-06:00

Most parents of toddlers wrestle with this same question. Should I always be candid with my child even if they may not be ready to hear a candid response?

For me, the answer is no. And I don't like it, but TinyE is five, and I'm not sure she needs to know that the world can be a very cruel, very dark, very cynical place (at least she doesn't need to know it just yet). I'll also admit that some concepts are too difficult to explain, and, motivated by laziness, I just take a more expedient path.

We had two recent conversations which illustrate my tendency.

The First Conversation (the conversation we had)

TinyE: You should never run from the police, right?
Duf: No, you shouldn't.
TinyE: Because if you run, they'll shoot you, right?
Duf: No, honey, I don't think the police would shoot you.

My answer is accurate - I really don't think the police would shoot TinyE - but incomplete.

The First Conversation (the conversation I wish we had)

TinyE: You should never run from the police, right?
Duf: No, you shouldn't.
TinyE: Because if you run, they'll shoot you, right?
Duf: Well, honey, police officers are just like everyone else. There are some police officers who are nice and protect us. There are other police officers who are cruel and who harm people. You want to be as careful with the police as you are with anyone else.

I think this is too dark a vision for a five year old (who, by the way has been told at school the police officers are friendly and here to protect and serve), to contemplate. As well, if she every need to seek assistance from a police officer, I want that effort to be uncluttered by complex considerations.

The Second Conversation (the conversation we had)

TinyE: The news is not fiction, right?
Duf: Yes, honey, the news is non-fiction; it's the best effort to report what happened.

My answer here is contrary to my belief.

The Second Conversation (the conversation I wish we had)

TinyE: The news is not fiction, right?
Duf: Fox News is fiction! Just kidding. Well, sweetie, I think most news reporters make a sincere effort to report what happened. But reporters, like all people, are biased and come to every scene with their own perspective. So, you should take in news with skepticism, and you should challenge what you're given. Take news from multiple sources, and read news accounts of events you've attended to see if it matches with your own thoughts on what happened.

Someday we'll have those conversations, but for now, I'll let TinyE be five.

Support Big Box Retail? Not Required, but Acceptable

2007-02-14T13:45:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I have two friends who will remain nameless. These friends are super duper turbo-charged intellectuals. From time to time they send me articles they hope to publish on some hyper-specialized area of importance only to academics, and I barely understand them. These folks are smart.

They shun all corporate holidays as money-making devises. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, they ignore all that. It’s their way of sticking it to the man.

And yes, a lot of money is made off Valentine’s Day.

But permit me to offer the case in favor of Valentine’s Day.

You can never tell someone that you love them too often.
Trinkets and flowers and dinners and poems; they’re all good.
Cards and letters…ditto.
Stopping once a year to go all out for romance? Well it can be really cool, especially…

…especially…

…especially…

[wait for it]

…especially if there are little or no expectations to do so.

If one is expected to buy dozens of roses and does so, then it’s undermined a bit, no?
If one is expected to come strong with diamonds, and does so – it means less to me.
If nothing but the light blue box will do, when you present the Paloma Picasso necklace in the light blue box, was it from your heart?

But if one is expected to do nothing or very little, then they are free to infuse the day with all the meaning they desire.

Mrs. Duf received two comic books (Stephen King’s Dark Tower is being redone as a graphic novel of sorts, and Mrs. Duf loves Stephen King) a poem in the newspaper*, and new sunglasses. I’ll leave work early today and go home to make lasagna and mac and cheese. Any one of those things, alone, would have been more than she wanted. If I made her a card, she would have been perfectly happy.

Which frees me up to do as much as I want, secure in the knowledge that it’s only because I want to do so; not because I’m expected to do so. I’m very lucky in that way.

Anyway…

I hope the demands on you were few, and I hope you exceeded them. Tell those you love that you love them. Hug your friends and family. Embrace the romantic potential of the day (even if you line a corporate pocket or two).

Happy Valentine’s Day.

*Our finest local paper (the Star Tribune) has a Valentine’s Day tradition of posting classified ads from sweetie to sweetie. I usually write a silly little trifle and publish it for Mrs. Duf to find. Unlike my other poems, these works usually rhyme and they don’t have darkness, cynicism or a hyper-devotion to reality as core components. If my other works are overcast or partly cloudy, these are sunshine and light.

ILIM Invites You to Share a Dark Vision

2007-02-13T09:48:00.000-06:00

Okay, so are you ready for some political cynicism?

The other day, I had a hygienic epiphany*.

I wondered if, at heart, most politicians are moderates who take less-centrist positions in order to get elected.

All you need is ambition.

Let’s say that you grow up in Southern Utah, and you want to be a member of the U.S. House of Representatives.
Secretly, you’re pro-choice, anti-death penalty, against prayer in schools, and you support gay marriage.
You could move, but Utah is your home. You like the National Parks, the low population, and all the repression and sexual tension.

So you adopt the prevailing viewpoints of your district as your own, and you make a run for Capitol Hill.

You make an entire career adding your vote to measures that would easily pass whether you support them or not. For example, you add your vote to a tax cut for the wealthy because it will pass anyway.

You vote in favor of things that, ultimately, will make very little difference. You vote in favor of 24 hour waiting periods because they don’t deny women the right to choose, but they allow you to maintain your pro-life credibility. You talk tough about how, little by little, abortion will be outlawed, but in 35 years, it never happens.

You fail to fund mandates. So, you vote in favor of that piece of legislation that purports to increase police officers in major metropolitan areas by 15% over the next biennium, but you gut it (or fails to give it legs) during the budget cycle when no one is watching. You say you're tough on crime, and you cite your voting record as proof of same.

All the sudden there, covered in Lever 2000, I just had this sense that empty votes are cast all the time. That symbolic legislation is favored over meaningful steps, and that bills never get the funding they need to really make an impact.

But individuals get to hold elected office. Could this be one explanation for why very little gets done in Washington? Is the whole thing fake, with moments of reality in between – like NASCAR or Pro Wrestling?

Last, might this cynical notion explain liberal democrats who, all the sudden late in life become conservative Republicans? I cite this idiot, and chief presidential stoolie, as an example. Might it explain Dinos like Lieberman and Rinos too**?

Is the whole thing just a well-orchestrated farce? Is it possible that Washington, D.C. is the greatest hoax ever perpetrated against a people in the history of the world?

Or should I change my brand of soap to something less provocative?

*A hygienic epiphany is my term for those moments of clarity that come to us whilst showering or bathing.

**Dino – Democrat in name only; Rino is Republican in name only.

I'm NOT Arguing that We Should Eat Cats!

2007-02-09T12:42:00.000-06:00

This dustup points out the hypocrisies inherent in our relationships with animals.

For too many humans, it is acceptable to wear a fur coat, even though wearing them is a heinous practice that was rendered totally unnecessary decades and decades ago.

Concern directed now toward dogs, and especially dogs over raccoons (it’s okay to wear a raccoon coat (or sable, or mink, or fox, etc.) but it’s not okay to wear a dog coat or a cat coat or a gorilla coat), is ridiculous. And we make judgments of that sort all the time.

For too many, it’s okay to eat veal, but not okay to eat cats.

We appreciate some animals and see their value, so we don’t eat them. All other animals are fair game (pun intended). We make fun of cultures which eat animals we don't.

I could go on and on, but I’ll keep it simple. If it’s wrong to wear a dog coat, then it’s wrong to wear a raccoon coat too.

If it’s wrong/disgusting to eat monkeys, well then how can it be right to eat cows?

For those who cite the bible as establishing our dominion over the creatures of the earth, I would say only this. We’re not required to use it in ways that are cruel, and let’s at least use our free will and intellect to make decisions that are arbitrary, capricious and unnecessary. Dominion does not require indifference or cruelty.

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa; or: Erratum

2007-02-06T11:10:00.000-06:00

In my the post below, I mention that the new Modest Mouse CD is the most anticipated release of the year.

While it is true that the new MM disc is greatly anticipated, I must amend my previous statement from:

"When the most anticipated album of the year comes out, I’ll probably buy the CD too."

to:

"When the second most anticipated album of the year comes out..."

As long-time reader (yaaaaaaay!), and rare commenter (booo!) JR notes -

These guys plan to release the most anticipated album of the year, and this goddess has plans as well (the goddess is third).

That is all.

Six Weird Things

2007-02-06T09:27:00.000-06:00

This was tagged in Jesus was not a Republican

Six weird things about me:

1. My sock drawer is ridiculously organized. I roll my socks up in a ball, and then place them, by color, in the drawer. I would not describe my underwear drawer or my closet as chaotic. They’re kinda hyper-organized too. It’s just that my sock drawer really epitomizes my condition.

2. I love music, and I buy a fair number of compact discs each year. I just downloaded my first album from iTunes (there was a prepay special that allowed you to download the single early). When the most anticipated album of the year comes out, I’ll probably buy the CD too. I like linear notes, and I like tangibility, and I worry that my computer will crash, leaving me music-less*

3. I’m not really superstitious, but when I drive over railroad tracks, I always lift my feet off the floor of the car I’m in (even if I’m driving). Also, if I go through a yellow light a little late, I run my hand across the ceiling of my car. Last, during NCAA tournament time, I try to watch all KU basketball games in the same place, for fear that if I watch them somewhere else, our winning streak will end.

4. If I’m really tired, or if my stomach hurts, or if I’m anxious/nervous, then I move my legs in and out (like one would if one were exercising with a Thigh Master) in a quick manner.

5. Through TinyE, I have learned to admire the peanut butter sandwich, hold the jelly. I eat my oatmeal plain. I cook it with soymilk and add nothing else.

6. If I’m at a concert, or on a plane, or in a restaurant, or in any setting where people pay for a particular event or service, I sometime try to calculate the number of people there, how much they paid, and how that translates into revenue for the service-provider.

So, if I’m on a plane and 73 people are on the plane (I might count them; okay, I’ll usually count them), then I might assume that each person paid $400 to fly and that the airline’s revenue for the flight is $29,200. I’ll come up with this by the following (in my head calculation):

80 x 400 = 32000
7 x 400 = 2800
32000 – 200 = 30000
30000-800= 29200

I can’t do 73 X 400 in my head any other way. And yes, I might also use 70 instead of 80 and then add 1200 instead of subtracting 2800.

*Yes, I know that there is software that allows you to transfer files from your MP3 player back to your computer, but remember this is a listing of six things that are weird about me.

Global Warming; the Irretrievably Dumb; Little Potato

2007-01-31T14:45:00.000-06:00

Yesterday at the State capitol, a group of informed citizens gathered to encourage our Minnesota Legislature to take action against global warming.

They took as fact (as they should have) that carbon emissions trap greenhouse gases in the earth’s atmosphere, ultimately increasing the temperature and leading to a profound and negative impact on our environment. Their argument, in effect, was that the state should act instead of waiting for the federal government to act.

That’s probably wise. In spite of his remarks during his State of the Union Address*, Bush is not likely to take action anytime soon. He’s too focused on troop surges and war against Iran. He learned absolutely nothing from the midterm elections. He is never going to get it, but I’m about to go off on a tangent, and I’m working myself into quite a lather, so…back to global warming:

Local action against international issues is not an easy point to sell, but I admire the effort.

This morning, NPR reported that two kinds of protesters were on the scene to oppose the rally.

One set argued that there is no global warming – they cited yesterday’s temp as their case in point (it was around 10 degrees yesterday). Brilliant! Say, what about all those melting glaciers?

The other set argued that global warming is good for Minnesota. They wore shirts that read lawn chairs instead of snow shovels.

The reporter covering the story suggested both protestors were sincere. I find that hard to believe. The first group proves that the half-wise are everywhere. I have to believe that the second group was being sarcastic much like the wonderful Billionaires for Bush.

At least I felt that way until I googled “global warming is good.”

You should do it if you need to validate the existence of the profoundly stupid, the irretrievably dumb, or the ridiculously idiotic.

If you’re feeling cynical about things; if you’re on the verge of losing hope about mankind; if you’re worried that we’re doomed to fail as humans, as earthlings, then don’t google “global warming is good.”

Instead, turn on the sound for your computer and click on this. My friend FB put it on a mixed-CD she burned for TinyE, and it became an instant favorite of mine.

*This is what he said, he said:

America is on the verge of technological breakthroughs that will enable us to live our lives less dependent on oil. And these technologies will help us be better stewards of the environment, and they will help us to confront the serious challenge of global climate change. (Applause.) **

**If you go to whitehouse.gov, they have the text of the entire State of the Union Address, and they add the "(Applause)." I understand that on the teleprompter, but when you're reading it online, you'll find it difficult to clap when you're also trying to scroll down.

Even Your Emotions had an Echo; or: My Five Favorite Songs of 2006

2007-01-22T21:04:00.000-06:00

5. Crazy – Gnarls Barkley

First and foremost, Cee-Lo Green is one of the coolest men in music. Did anyone deserve success more this year? Did anyone deserve more success this year?

Second – best lyric of all time:

“I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place. Even your emotions had an echo in so much space.”

I thought about that lyric about six gazillion times. It's better than anything Cee-Lo did with the Goodie Mob, and he did some amazing stuff with the Goodie Mob.

Third – you can’t deny a song that led a revolution in music.

4. Southtown Girls – The Hold Steady

Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, half of what I adore about this amazing song is the Twin Cities references, but the other half is how completely it closes an amazing album by continuing the brilliant lyrics and offering the best coda I could imagine for this wonderfully expressive compact disc.

3. Dimension – Wolfmother

When I need to speed the transition from work to home, when I need to shake it all off, when I need to inspire a primal scream, when I need to revisit the 70’s and channel Zeppelin, Sabbath or even Styx, when I need to giggle about falling down in the dessert and needing to write something down, then there is no song that will work like this song. If you haven’t heard it, hear it. If you don’t like it, then join Al Qaeda or something – you’re damaged.

2. Wolf Like Me – TV on the Radio

“When the moon is round and full, gotta bust that fox, gotta gut that fish.”

Nice.

“Gonna teach you tricks that’ll blow your (mongrel) mind.”

Even TinyE sings it.

Anyway...convinced? Ready to be a werewolf?

Hmmmm…okay…then check this out.

1. Born Secular – Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins

Apparently Jenny Lewis was “born secular and inconsolable.” In a year of songs and albums paying homage to artists of yore, this disc, which conjures up Dusty Springfield, Loretta Lynn, Tammy Wynette and gives a nod to the Traveling Wilbury’s, is easily the best of the bunch. On an album of phenomenal songs, this is the pinnacle. The lyrics on this song are so amazing, so representative of a different time, that I was convinced it was a cover. The music is simple – as is often the case in country music (even alt-country), but the emotion is so pure and sincere that it moves me (purely and sincerely) every time.

Face It: The Man is Amazing

2007-01-21T14:40:00.000-06:00

So this morning, I was listening to WeeSun (like all good progressives) when they had an interesting piece about the banjo.

Now, here's where I confess that I'm not a terribly enlightened fellow. The banjo is not, nor has it ever been one of my favorites.

The radio story this morning celebrated the release of a new banjo album featuring duets and trios including some of America's more recognized banjo players.

In the studio at NPR were the primary artist on the album: Tony Trischka. Bela Fleck was also there. Completing the trio was Steve Martin.

Read and listen here.

And then it occurred to me:

Comedian
Magician
Musician
Playwright
Novelist
Actor (stage and screen no less*)
Producer
Essayist
Composer**
Etc.

I mean, c'mon, the man has done it all!

*And yes, there have been some clunkers.
**They played his song "The Crow" as part of the WeeSun story.

Post Script: Sorry I have not posted very much. Work is very busy, and there's been a recent dustup over blogs and myspace at work. So, I've had to be cool. For the record, I usually write blogs at home and then upload them at work (after a quick edit - and maybe some links). But now I'll post from home so that I can visit with y'all more than once a week.

You Know Who I'm Jealous of...?

2007-01-16T23:16:00.000-06:00

Kids who grow up in bilingual homes. Do they even know how lucky they are?

Notes on an Execution

2007-01-15T10:48:00.000-06:00

A friend who knows I don’t support the death penalty asked me how I felt about Saddam Hussein’s execution (and no, Saddam is not in their league).

The classic question: can we change the hypothetical enough to reverse your policy?

Saddam ranked high among the ne’er do wells of the world – not so high on the all-time rankings, but high enough. He was executed for the retaliatory murders of more than 150 people. Most suspect he was directly or indirectly involved in the deaths of many, many more.

So the question is really a variation on the “what about Hitler?” or “what about Stalin?” question that is often put to opponents of capital punishment.

My answer may not surprise, but I feel that Saddam’s execution advanced very little and may actually lead to declines.

The world is not safer.
Tyrants and dictators will not be less likely to torture and kill their citizens.
Those who grieve will still feel the void of a love one gone too soon.
Questions remain about the quality of his criminal trial.
He is, within some communities and ethnic groups, remembered as a martyr.
He was executed for the retaliatory killing of 150; before he could stand trial for the killings of more than 100,000 Kurds.

And, on top of it all, even with all the media attention, it all kind of came and went with very little sound and even less fury and… as a result…seemed to signified nothing. In fact, if there is a lasting legacy from the execution, it is a legacy of a botched hanging.

Saddam, a Sunni, was hanged by Shias. They mocked him. They asked God to damn him. They shouted “Moktada” over and over. Saddam asked if they felt like men, he lost his temper. And in the end, the trap door was sprung in the middle of a prayer. It all happened on the first day of high holy days. The Sunnis start the celebration on one day (that’s when Saddam was hanged). The Shias start celebrating the next. Not the best day to hang the man.

One aspect of Saddam’s execution fascinates me quite a lot. The fact that the execution can be seen on the world wide web*. Some attendee recorded it with a cell phone video camera and posted it for all to see. I wish someone had done the same at the recently botched Florida execution.

I think executions should be televised in America too. And I won’t hide the trick. My ultimate goal is to build the case against capital punishment. It’s too easy for proponents to support it – to override all the concerns about inadequate counsel and bias and cruelty and execution of the young and the mentally ill and those who are below average in intelligence. Let’s expose this heinous practice for what it really is – one significant part of our national hypocrisy and our national shame.

And yes, some people will cheer – just as people cheered and jeered Saddam. But the majority of people, people of maturity, reasonable people, will react differently.

Proponents of the death penalty, in order to salvage its constitutionality, must prove that it is neither cruel nor unusual (and, of course, this is the biggest indictment on the state of affairs in our country – our highest courts crafted an argument to essentially say that killing a person by lethal injection or by gas or by electrocution is not cruel AND most of all, not unusual). And if executions are neither cruel nor unusual, then they ought to be televised. Plenty of cruel stuff is on TV. Plenty of unusual stuff is on TV.

And, every other aspect of criminal justice takes place in broad daylight. Our courts are (relatively) open. Trials, judgments, sentencing, and even prison life can be seen on television. In some ways these phases are glorified, but for the most part they’re not.

So, if executions are not cruel or unusual, if they’re meant to deter, if we’re administering justice, then why not show it?

I really only have three reservations: first, steps must be taken to prevent children from seeing executions.

Second, the executed must consent – but I’d think a lot of them would consent.

Third, it may actually backfire. It may actually create a sensation and not only increase support for this barbaric practice, but also heighten my despair at the state of our union.

*I haven’t seen it myself. I don’t know if I will.

People Always Complain about the Weather, Duf Does Something about It

2007-01-08T12:24:00.000-06:00

One of our wonderful Christmas presents this year was a weather station.

We have a central monitor on the main floor that tells you the temperature of the room you’re in, connects to two receivers (one in our bedroom (upstairs), one outside), has an atomic clock, reads barometric pressure, and tells you the weather trend (among other things).

The outside monitor uses lithium batteries and can keep going down to -30 degrees Fahrenheit.*

The monitor in our bedroom tells us two strange things (one we knew, one we didn’t):

The strange thing that we knew about:

Unlike just about every house in the entire universe, our upstairs is colder than our main floor (factors: windows, not enough forced air pressure**) by about 4 degrees Fahrenheit.

The strange thing that we did not know about:

The temperature in our bedroom is often (in fact eerily so) 66.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

When that happens, to stave off the costs of an exorcism, I usually turn on our ceiling fan (to lower) or a lamp (to raise) the temperature.

*This used to be necessary before Global Warming.

**Any HVAC experts out there? Holla!

What I Did Over Winter Vacation, by Duf

2007-01-04T19:56:00.000-06:00

Went to a house party that was visited by high-school carolers.
Played Wii Tennis (awesome) and Wii golf (average) with my nephews.
Reorganized our freezer. It took like five minutes.
Fixed the drawer on our LL bathroom basin. You know, the one with the bad handle.
Watched lots of A&E.
Wrote our holiday letter.
Did not ship (yet) our holiday letter.
Three words: Dance, Dance Revolution!
Ate tons and tons of homemade cookies (including the best cookie of all time).
Shoveled snow from the back walk, the front walk, and (just for fun) the driveway.
Went sledding with TinyE.
Spent it all up. All up. All. Up.
Lots of A&E.
BTW, I want one of those Wii things, and I’m not even a “gamer.”
Installed a new shower head in the LL bathroom. You know, the handheld kind.
Drank Veuve-Clicquot* like a upper-class Frenchman with a nasty, nasty bubbly habit.
Pre-diet binging and junking.
Watched the thrilling Boise State vs. Oklahoma game.
Took my iPod in for repairs (hard drive fried).
Took my winter coat in for alterations (sleeves were too long).
Perhaps too much A&E.
Read very little.
Slept very much.
Worked very little.
Vegged very much.
Rang out the old, rang in the new.

Re-learned, through the visage of a five year-old girl, the joy of Christmas and the capacity of little things to mean a lot.

*It’s so dang good.

Welcome Back, Duffer

2007-01-02T22:00:00.000-06:00

Today was my last day of vacation; I go back to work tomorrow. I’m actually looking forward to heading back to the office.

I did not realize until the middle of last week how absolutely exhausted I was. I found myself sleeping in until past 8:00 on multiple consecutive days – I NEVER do that.

But my batteries feel recharged now (although my legs weigh a tone right now).

Today, when almost everyone returned to the office, I went sledding with TinyE.

It was a blast, but let me share this bit of wisdom from the hills:

What goes down must come up. The longer the ride down; the longer the walk up. Two hours of sledding is a mighty workout.

On a completely unrelated note: I listened to most of the Ford memorial service. I can’t really say why, but I always liked Gerald R. Hearing Bush’s story about how Ford stood up against segregation during his time at Michigan somehow confirmed the whole thing. But hearing Bush eulogize him and talk about his integrity and honesty also made me nostalgic for a simpler time*.

*And you know you’re in dire straits if you look back on post-Watergate/fall of Saigon days as “a simpler time.”

Greetings of the Season; or: The Vacation Notice I Should have Posted a Week Ago

2006-12-28T22:17:00.000-06:00

Dear Readers,

Hello from vactionland (a.k.a. St. Paul, Minnesota)!

Santa was good to us.

My favorite Christmas gift received was Philip Roth's "American Pastoral" - I've had a surprisingly hard time finding it. A close second was homemade shortbread cookies from my brother-in-law.

My favorite gift given was a future in a rare Peruvian orchid that I got for my wife. If it continues to grow, in April she will have a nice orchid. If not, then she'll have a nice gift certificate to a wonderful orchid nursery.

Tell me in comments: what was your favorite gift (given and/or received)?

We're resting up for our return to work and school in early January.

We're reading the paper and gathering lots of blog fodder (Gerald Ford (R.I.P.), undocumented workers at Swift, Edwards tossing his hat in, Dreamgirls (I didn't like it)).

We're running errands and doing all the things we find it so hard to do while working and raising one little girl.

We're hoping your holidays are wonderful...

...and looking forward to returning in January.

"See" you then.

Happy New Year,

Duf

Mama Mexico's on 49th, Between 2nd and 3rd - Highly Recommended

2006-12-15T09:34:00.000-06:00

Tuesday night, on the island of Manhattan, a small group of us spent $39 on guacamole (it was good) and $72 on shots of Petron Silver (we were full of holiday cheer, I assure you).

As the night ended, and we rode the train along the Northeast Corridor back to Metropark (Woodbridge, New Jersey, y’all), LJ, the loudest among us said this about her husband of 6 years:

“I’m often surprised by how much I continue to love him.”

Anyway, I thought that was an interesting thought from a marriage. I can approach it as a cynic would, but I choose to come at it with an optimistic heart, more appropriate to the sentiment. From that place, it calls to mind how love reveals itself to us in layers: layers of understanding, layers of shared experiences, and layers of emotion.

And that’s not the tequila talking either.

Yaaaaaay Jews!

2006-12-08T13:55:00.001-06:00

This is how change happens.

One by one, faith communities will stand up and recognize same sex unions and GLBT leadership.

Eventually, a few faith communities will remain (probably the same folks who argue that the world is eight to 10 thousand years old), but they will be the exception and not the rule.

Religion will move closer to recognizing all of God’s children.

Either society will follow in religion’s footsteps or the other way around. But somehow we will be led to enlightenment.

I’ve always felt that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation (gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender) would decrease significantly as, to put it frankly, Baby Boomer age and Tweeners and Gen Xers replace them in corporate, civic, governmental and religious leadership positions. See this supporting data from Pew (scroll down to see chart connecting age to view on same sex marriage).

Younger people, people who go to school with “out” GLBT students (often in Jr. High, but definitely in High School and College), people who work with “out” colleagues. Looking at the cubicle farm from a wide angle lens, it’s hard to say that Sally gets partner benefits because she’s heterosexual and married, but Todd does not get them because he’s gay.

I applaud the conservative Jews today. Yes, it was a 1 to 3 decision, but it will allow temples to reach their own conclusions, and that’s more than can be said for a lot of Christian faith traditions.

Post Script: I found this story interesting. I giggle when afflicted conservatives jump on the bandwagon supporting stem cell research; soon, conservative parents of gay children will be compelled to abandon their hateful and ignorant policies - even if only out of love for their children.

With Sugar on Top? - A Half-hearted Indictment of Christmas

2006-12-06T22:35:00.000-06:00

Christmas is ridiculous and crass*. Every year I try to beat it by meditating on its violent demise, but every year it gets bigger and crasser and worser. Oh, if only we could cancel the whole thing! Or at least take every other year off. Yes, the economy would collapse, but maybe we’d find a deeper celebration divorced from commerce and greed.

Yeah, right.

But if I can’t be ‘em…

I suppose I could ask for this ride for Christmas.

And this ride would do well with my green side.

Dear Santa, can you upgrade the city crib one time?

Oh, and give our little family a nice little getaway?

I’ll tell Mrs. Duf that I need a way to tell time away from home.

But all of that is a prelude for the one thing I really want for Christmas. There’s no chance you’ll take me seriously, but I’m totally, totally serious. I collect these (in my own depressingly middle class way), and I’ve been obsessed with them (and their portable progeny) since I was eight years old. When I get bored, I search for these on the web. In all my searching, I’ve never found an example that engaged my scheming more than this one.

I could sell stock.

I could get a night job.

I could steal it.

In 2006 I bought an oil painting and a car, so I’m tapped out for luxury items, and it’s a shame too, because:

What I really want for Christmas is this one simple and elegant way to tell time at home.

I love it; I love it; I love it.

And...

It’s only $26,000.

But it’s sure to retain its value…

Do I have any readers who are fabulously wealthy who will grant me this amazing clock for the full term of my natural life with the remainder going to her or him or his or her heirs or assigns?

Pretty please.

Hello? Is this on?

*I'm in New Jersey today. In the lobby of the building I visited, they've erected four holiday celebrations. One celebrating Christmas, one celebrating Chanukah, once celebrating Kwanzaa, and one celebrating Three Kings Day. The lobby of my office building back in Minnesota only celebrates one of these four holidays. I leave you to guess which one (hint, it stands in stark contrast to Bill O'Reilly's daft protestations).

Help Me Understand This...Please

2006-12-06T15:19:00.000-06:00

Can someone explain this to me? Anyone?

Also, while I'm at it, I don't get this guy either. Never have, never will*.

*He was okay in Platoon.

With the Benefit of Perspective

2006-12-04T16:04:00.000-06:00

This morning when I left my home at 5:25, it was snowing. Everything was beautiful, but - if I do say so myself - it was a bit too cold.

As I write this, I'm in Tempe, Arizona. It is December, and it's about 70 degrees outside. The perfect temperature.

Now, normally, I would tell you that the Phoenix metropolitan area is the third worst major market metro area in the United States behind Orlando, Florida (easily the worst major metro area in the country) and Southern California (awful, just awful). If I get time tonight, I'll give Orlando and Southern California the same send-up I gave St. Paul a bit ago.

I'm being 100% serious when I tell you that I would live in Birmingham, Alabama*, three times before I would even think about Phoenix.

But today...

Well, today...

Phoenix is a little bit more charming. Today, Phoenix is your bipolar lover riding high on a beautiful, placid and seemingly never-ending manic wave.

*I'm convinced that Birmingham is the most underrated city in the U.S. But then I've only been there as a visitor (and only for a total of like 30 days - over several trips).

On Charitable Giving

2006-12-01T09:23:00.000-06:00

A friend sent this article to me.

Interesting findings:

The rich and the working poor give more than the middle class (in terms of percentage of income).

The working poor give more than the rich in terms of percentage of income.

Conservatives give more than liberals do.

If a person is religious or spiritual, they are more likely to give to charity.

The article, which is a teaser for a show on 20/20 tonight also makes note of a study done by 20/20 on Salvation Army donations in San Francisco v. Sioux Falls.

Now, I’d love to give the article a critical read, but study methodology is not included. What counts as a charitable donation? How are cash donations linked to political philosophies? Are donations of time (like pro bono services) included? What about stock donations, trusts, and estate gifts? Do donations to quasi-political organizations (like right to life groups or the NRA) count?

But I can say this: the Salvation Army test is flawed. I don’t give a cent to the Salvation Army on philosophical and moral grounds. They are a religious organization (which is fine), and they require prayer before administering benefits (which is not fine, IMHO). As well, they have policies that discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation (which is despicable and unchristian).

But, having said all that, it would not surprise me that conservatives give more than liberals do. I do, however, dispute that philosophies on the role of government drive those decisions.

A News Hound with Voyeuristic Tendencies

2006-11-30T11:57:00.000-06:00

I’m posting about TV today because I got so many comments about My Super Sweet Sixteen.

You know that scene in Animal House where there’s a devil on one of John Belushi’s shoulders and an angel on the other and they’re both acting as his conscience guiding his moral decisions?

Yeah, well I have that for television. One introductory comment – the thing I watch on TV more than anything else is sports. I love college football, college basketball, golf, tennis majors, baseball. We’re friends, right? Okay, true sharing: I also watch oodles of HGTV.

Here’s what the devil says:

Big Break
A reality show on The Golf Channel; golf + reality = Dufbliss

Chappelle Show
Often too racy for me, but makes me happy; musical guests are amazing.

Cops
That’s right. I occasionally watch COPS (usually when nothing better is on). In its entire history, I’ve maybe seen it 8 times.

Family Guy
I generally cover my mouth in shock and laughter when I watch it.

Flavor of Love (Seasons 1 and 2) and the Reunion Shows
I’ve seen every episode, and yes, I hate myself

MTV Cribs
One of my favorite shows. I often have no idea who the celeb is. But I love, love, love house tours and looking at people's fancy cars. It's not a coveting thing either. I envy neither the celeb nor their material goods. I just love the show. Sue me.

My Super Sweet Sixteen
I’ve seen 3 episodes, I hated every single minute.

The Real Housewives of Orange County
No kidding, I watched all 8 episodes in a row while recovering from surgery. I loved every minute of it. It may have been the codeine.

Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy
I usually miss this show, not as good as Wifeswap.

Wifeswap
One of my favorite shows; it’s an anthropological/sociological thing. I hate to miss it. I love insights into how people order their lives. If I were a producer on WS, I would, at least 3 times a year, just have ordinary people (instead of contrasted people). I think it would be just as entertaining. But perhaps that's why I'm not a network exec/producer.

A& E (gets its own special section):

Dog the Bounty Hunter
Can’t say why I love it, but I love it. I usually watch it when traveling.

The First 48
Part of the appeal for me is this show is often set in KC.

Intervention
I’ve seen it maybe three times. The bulimia episode made me sick to my stomach.

The Angel says:

60 Minutes
Decades of excellence.

CBS Sunday Morning
I’m not kidding, this is my favorite television show. Period. It has been my favorite for years. It will continue to be my favorite for years. Even stuff I think will bore me is amazing.

Frontline
Two nights ago I watched a Frontline show on the secret history of the credit card, if that doesn’t tell you how much I love this show, then nothing will. Their work earlier this year on the meth epidemic was the best television I’ve seen in years: harrowing but graceful.

The News Hour
When something big happens, this is my only TV news source.

Nightline
When I can stay up that late.

POV
I mostly watch this on Netflix, but it’s TV, so I count it. Great, great show.

This Week
I liked David Brinkley; I love George Stephanopoulus (but I wouldn’t mind it if he ramped up the energy just 2 or 3%).

And, as a liberal, I must acknowledge here that my philosophies and ideal are undermined by my occasional viewing habits. I watch shows that I consider sexist, racist and classist. I watch shows that portray people in a negative light and (potentially or intentionally) humiliate them. I watch shows knowing that my watching perpetuates them and shows like them.

I view it all through the lens of a middle class educated man and usually recognize that reality subjects are sacrificing a lot for my entertainment. I see that dynamic as horribly flawed.

But, I don't do it often, and for the most part I like my sexism expressed through athletic contests (boys makes millions, girls dance near-naked for free), but I thought I'd unveil all my ugly habits as a way of creating false intimacy and inviting comments that might influence me toward better behavior.

But before you take me to task, two things: (1) I'm significantly more likely to watch Frontline or CBS Sunday Morning than I am to watch MSSS or Cops; and (2) you can't knock me down a peg or two without telling your me a guilty TV pleasure (or two)...

We all have them.

Contract with America Phase II, or: To Win the Future for Me, All You Need to Do is Fade Into Obscurity

2006-11-29T12:06:00.000-06:00

“I am not 'running' for president. I am seeking to create a movement to win the future by offering a series of solutions so compelling that if the American people say I have to be president, it will happen.”

Newt Gingrich

“Sure Newt. And at your ‘inauguration’ you can wear a fancy white jacket. Don’t worry about tying it; we’ll take care of everything from here on. All you need to do is rest.”

ILIM

Hope, Hope, Doom

2006-11-28T10:14:00.000-06:00

If you want to shock your system or purge after the holiday binge, just follow these three simple steps.

Rent and watch “Born Into Brothels” an inspiring and realistic documentary portraying how photography offered a ray of hope to some children who were born to prostitute mothers in one of Calcutta’s more notorious Red Light Districts. Let me say these children give new meaning to the term disadvantaged. BTW, most of the prostitutes featured in B into B are married or live with their fathers. I just found that interesting.

Rent and watch “Children of Heaven” a must-see fictional movie set in Iran about two earnest and beautiful siblings (brother and sister) who struggle with poverty and are industrious and creative in solving a problem caused when the brother loses his sister’s shoes. It is a wonderful film, and I could not help but think of my middle class child with her 18 jackets* while I watched it.

Then

Watch any episode of “My Super Sweet Sixteen” on MTV wherein spoiled American 15 year olds celebrate their 16th birthday in the most nauseating way possible. I consider it to be the worst television show of all time; in that regard it is without peer. It is, without a doubt, easily twice as disgusting as the worst Springer or Maury episode, and indisputable proof that the apocalypse is nigh. There is more stupidity in one episode of MSSS than in the entire two seasons of Flavor of Love and that includes any scene involving New York. In one sitting, you will get absolute proof that the American Empire is already a thing of the past. You will hate yourself, but not nearly as much as you hate those bratty, awful, rotten and despicable children who cry real tears because they can’t get a national recording artist to perform at their party, because their exclusive VIP list has created conflict, because the BMW** they received is the wrong color, and because their parents’ 16 year effort to completely destroy them is starting to yield fruitful, fruitful returns.

*I'm not kidding. If anything I under-counted.

**It is always, and I mean ALWAYS a BMW.

What I Did Over Thanksgiving Vacation, by Duf

2006-11-27T10:42:00.000-06:00

Played no-limit Texas Hold ‘em with my Mom, my mother-in-law and my father-in-law*.

Grew a beard.

Painted our 5 x 8 bathroom**.

Played Dance Dance Revolution with my nieces and nephews.

Saw “For Your Consideration”***.

Reorganized our file cabinet.

Saw “Stranger than Fiction” ****.

Reorganized the upstairs closet.

Took walks.

Listened to “Wolf Like Me” by TV on the Radio about 6 gazillion times.

Bought tickets to The Black Keys – performing live at First Avenue on Wednesday night.

Ate Tofurky and Tofurky sandwiches.

Paused and gave thanks for all my blessings – they are both many and significant.

I hope your holiday was wonderful too.

*On my best chance to win, I lost to Mrs. Duf who bet soft when she was hold trip fours which beat my two pair. Then, for all the money, she beat me with ace high (I tried to bluff her out).

**Never paint your bathroom.

***2.5 stars out of five.

****I’ve seen three movies at a theater in the past two years that blew me away: “Crash,” “The Departed,” and “Stranger than Fiction” – who knew existentialism could be so entertaining? Will Ferrell is phenomenal. And, has Emma Thompson ever made a bad movie? I even liked “Love, Actually” and I don’t even like romantic comedies.

Odd Man Out; or: The Triumph of Function over Form as Expressed through the Nightstands of Mrs. Duf, Duf and TinyE

2006-11-15T07:02:00.000-06:00

Mrs. Duf's nightstand says: "I like to read, but I don't really use bookmarks all that much. I am not anal-retentive. I like antiques. Form follows function. I am a mother" (note the baby* monitor and the tissues). Currently reading: Until I Find You by John Irving. Just completed: Lisey's Story by Stephen King. On deck: either The Hot Kid by Elmore Leonard or Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger.

My nightstand says: "I'm anal-retentive. I like to read. I like to write. I like antiques. I wear glasses. Function follows form in my world: that lamp does not have near enough foot candles of light to support reading or much else, and in order to know what time it is at night, I have to look across the bed and over a sleeping Mrs. Duf at a clock that actually projects light so that you can read the time in the dark." Currently reading: The Sea by John Banville. Just completed: Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. On Deck: The Lay of the Land by Richard Ford**.

TinyE's nightstand says: "I don't need an alarm clock to tell me it's 6:00 a.m.! My parents buy my stuff at Ikea so that I can put stickers on it without getting hollered at. I like snowglobes, fairies, Barney (although she would have me add that she is too old for Barney), but reading...not so much."

Just kidding. She likes to "read." She just keeps her books in the bed with her***. Her nightstand is too crowded with snowglobes. Therefore, form follows function in her world. TinyE is currently enjoying (not quite reading yet): Scholastic's First Dictionary.

*In this case, the baby is five (5) years old. And yes, she uses the baby monitor. I think we plan to keep it into TinyE's teenage years.

**One of my all-time favorites.

***Yes, she sleeps with the books in the bed.

Local Dustup; or Satire without Collateral Damage is Preferred

2006-11-15T07:01:00.000-06:00

I live in Minnesota, where we’ve got quite a little dustup involving a member of the Minneapolis School Board and an Independence Party candidate for U.S. Congress.

First, look at the congressional candidate’s site.

Then look at the satirical site based on that congressional campaign.

Here’s a little background.

Chris Stewart is a newly elected member of the Minneapolis School Board.

He’s in a bit of trouble for creating (or being involved in the creation of) the satirical site. BTW, the satirical site was not meant for public consumption. Stewart is part of a group that has a web site, but it is password protected. I tried to log on to it as part of my research for this story; I couldn't. I was blocked.

Martin Sabo, one of Minnesota’s favorite elected officials announced his retirement earlier this year.

His announcement touched off a flurry of political activity, much of it focused on candidates seeking the Democratic Party nomination.

Sabo endorsed his Chief of Staff (and former state DFL Chair Mike Erlandson).

When Erlandson and Ember Reichgott Junge lost the party endorsement to eventual congressman-elect, Keith Ellison, and then lost to Ellison again in the primary, Sabo “endorsed”* Independence candidate Tammy Lee.

Why didn’t Sabo endorse Ellison?

This question raised eyebrows in the black community. Folks wondered if Sabo would have endorsed Lee if Reichgott Junge won the nomination. In other words, did Ellison’s race (African-American) or religion (Muslim) compel long-time party member and long-time Congressman Sabo to abandon the typical process (and his long-standing respect for the party’s voice) to endorse a candidate from another party.

Was it that he disagrees with Ellison on the issues? Ellison is a long-time environmental advocate, he supports single-payer health care, he’s pro-choice, he’s worked hard on poverty issues, he has a long record of supporting education. He’s a DFL wet dream. So why endorse someone else? So, no. That probably wasn't it.

Anyway, why didn't Sabo endorse Ellison is the satirical site hoped to ask. To the extent that I take issue with the site (and I do have a sense of humor), I take issue with the fact that it criticizes Lee more than it should and Sabo not enough.

As I see it, Sabo – Sabo is the one who is worthy of criticism, not Lee. Although many out there feel the satirical site skewered Sabo no one can argue that it didn't go through Lee to do it. I felt it was a shotgun approach that peppered Lee (hat tip** to Dick Cheney for adding "peppered" to our national vocabulary!) where a rifle aimed only at Sabo would have been more effective. I like my satire without collateral damage. Thank you very much.

By the way, Lee lost (and she should have). Perhaps Sabo will endorse Ellison when he runs for re-election.

*Sabo never officially endorsed Lee, but he allowed his picture with her to be posted on her site. Not good: it equivocates. If he didn’t want to endorse Ellison for fear that Erlandson would feel bad, then why “endorse” anyone at all. If you’re going to endorse anyone, go all the way.

**Hat tip is the nerdy blogsphere way of saying "thank you for the idea or suggestion or inspiration." In this case, the real hat tip goes my mother-in-law who suggested that I write on this exciting topic.

Why Michael Dukakis Makes Me Think of Saddam Hussein

2006-11-13T21:11:00.000-06:00

I blame Michael Dukakis*.

There was a moment in the Dukakis/Bush 41 debate when Bernard Shaw, the erstwhile CNN reporter, asked Michael Dukakis if he supported the Death Penalty. Dukakis answered that he was against it. Bernard Shaw followed it by asking “what Michael Dukakis would do if someone raped and murdered his wife – would he favor the death penalty then?” He gave a very intellectual answer. He was right. He was wrong too.

I kind of wish he would have said “Hey Bernie, what did you say about my wife? Huh? What did you just ask me about the mother of my children you son of a…”

In other words…a little more passion.

Bernard Shaw was trying to test the limits of Dukakis’s opposition to the death penalty. Is there a situation that is so extreme that even a stoic man like Dukakis would abandon reason and embrace death. He was trying to appeal to his emotions.

And, if you’ll permit me to establish myself as a member of the lunatic fringe, recent events present an even more interesting hypothetical. More interesting than the Shaw/Dukakis hypothetical, more interesting than the McVeigh hypothetical.

But first let me back up just a few feet.

A couple of years ago, I called in to Minnesota Public Radio during our local mid-morning talk show to say that I was opposed to the death penalty. The moderator asked me if I would even oppose the death penalty for Timothy McVeigh. I said yes, I would. She asked me why. I said that the same society that allows the death penalty for the most heinous crimes we can imagine also allows it for things that are, comparatively, mundane. I also said that we should avoid drafting laws based on extreme cases, and that we should rely on government to provide reason at times when we ourselves are completely ruled by emotion.

And so, with that as background, I would say that I would not support the death penalty for Saddam Hussein. Let me quickly add the following.

I’m not sad about his upcoming hanging.
His crimes were heinous and extreme, savage and numerous.
If the death penalty, was ever justified, and for me it cannot be, it would justified for people like Hussein, Hitler and Stalin.
Killing him accomplishes nothing that we could not accomplish if we sincerely desired it: revenge, prevention, setting an example, protecting potential victims, cost-containment, reducing crimes against humanity (deterrent), etc.

And that’s why I oppose it, even for Saddam.

I know, I know.

*Although we’ve recently seen a small resurgence lately, I blame Michael Dukakis for a lot of the problems that liberals have faced.

As one example, there was a debate exchange where Bush 41 asked Dukakis if he was “a card carrying member of the ACLU” and Dukakis hemmed and hawed. Man, if ever there was a softball.

What he should have said was “If you’re asking me if support the Constitution, if you’re asking me if I support the Bill of Rights and the freedom of speech and the right to bear arms, if you’re asking me if support privacy and freedom from unreasonable search and seizures, if you’re asking me if support the freedom of assembly, then my answer to you, sir, is yes. And what’s more, I’ll put a question to you – why do you not support these rights?”

He got all intellectual in response to a hypothetical that was meant to play to his emotions, and, he got all apologetic in response to a question that was basically asking him if he was a flaming liberal.

And yes, I know he had the flu, but come on!

Anyway, he lost.

Pragmatism or Idealism?; or A Vote for Hutchinson Was a Vote for Pawlenty

2006-11-12T19:53:00.000-06:00

Recent history teaches that when the Republicans suspect they have a front runner, they rally convincingly. Thus George W. Bush was lauded as a Texas straight shooter who would be a breath of fresh air in the bloviating smog of Washington (not a prep-school scion with no track record who could barely string together a coherent sentence).

But because liberals are idealists, they are unwilling to do the same. They don't even compare their most promising leaders with the opposition. Instead they compare them with the ideal, the perfect candidate, the standard-bearer without flaw.

Anna Quindlen, Newsweek, October 30, 2006

It feels silly to even ask it at a time when the Democratic party has retaken the U.S. House, the U.S. Senate, the Minnesota House, a Minnesota U.S. House seat that had been Republican for years, and the preponderance of state-wide offices up for grabs, but…

Why did Mike Hatch and Judi Dutcher lose?
This post was inspired by Dirty and TK

Here are my reasons (in no particular order):

Mike Hatch’s “Republican whore” comment cost them votes.

Judi Dutcher not knowing what E 85 is.

Hatch, like Skip Humphrey and Roger Moe before him, has/had a fine career in public service, but lacked the kind of charisma to really motivate people; and

As a result, though he would have won if Peter Hutchinson had not run (the Independence Party is the only third party in Minnesota able to even come close to overcoming the bias of the two-party system – and, as the Quindlen quote points out, Republicans, ever the pragmatists, rally around one candidate while Democrats, in search of the ideal, are prone to stray) he did not have enough in him to overcome his built in disadvantage.

Some other thoughts (in a particular order):

The Minnesota DFL needs to nominate better candidates.

We need a combination of issues and charisma; someone who can promote our agenda, and motivate the citizenry to do the same. Humphrey, Moe and Hatch were long on the first virtue, and lacking in the second.

Progressives, liberals and, as a result, Democrats want ideal candidates. I think we were damaged by Kennedy and Clinton. For right or wrong, we just can’t get inspired by the Gores and Hatchs of the world* (not to mention Dukakis and Mondale). But because we know this, we need to nominate more charismatic candidates.

Our inability to rally around our candidate, particularly when considered against the Republican ability to rally around their candidate (and particularly in a state like Minnesota where the Independence Party essentially runs as a more liberal version** of the DFL*** party) places us at an significant disadvantage.

Recent editorials in the Star Tribune have tried to pinpoint who’s to blame, here’s my list (in particular order):

Mike Hatch

Judi Dutcher

The DFL state convention

The Independence Party (it’s the most viable third party in Minnesota, but, without a Ventura, it’s still not viable, and its candidates get a lower percentage of the vote with each passing election: Ventura won with 37% of the vote; Tim Penny took 16%; and Peter Hutchinson took 6.7%. Besides, what does the Independence Party stand for? In the final analysis, what is its legacy beyond Ventura and giving Tim Pawlenty two terms at the helm? And, don’t kid yourself, you know they get a lot of money from Republicans who use their pragmatism (and liberal idealism) to heighten their advantage by pumping up a party that will appeal to liberals even though it has no chance of winning**** works like a charm too).

Peter Hutchinson who now prides himself on bringing “levity” to the race. Thanks for the laughs, Pete!

Liberals who, in spite of the fact that he consistently polled well-below ten percent, and in spite of the fact that the gubernatorial race was a statistical dead heat, voted for Peter Hutchinson (they knew he could not win, they knew the risk that Pawlenty would win). To frame the issue in a way that plays on Quindlen’s Conundrum, liberals need to compare their candidates to the opposition and not to the ideal. Applying that standard, Hatch takes the office, even though he’s no Adlai Stevenson. It’s how Bush won, it’s how Pawlenty won, it’s how Bachmann won.

I’ll close with this. In Minnesota our last three Governors have been elected with less than 50% of the vote. 63% of the people did not want Ventura, Pawlenty won with 44% in 2002 and 46% in 2006. Until we get instant runoff voting, this structural flaw will continue. And, it must be said: if the goal of a Democracy is to identify the will of the majority, then, until we have instant runoff voting, elections in Minnesota must be considered something less than democratic*****.

Ooops, one other thought - yes, absolutely, people can vote for whomever they want. But, the sad reality is that in our flawed system, some votes count more than others do, and votes for some candidate C, can end up being, when all the precincts close, a vote for candidate B.

*In my view, the admiration, no (let’s call it what it is) the adoration for Baraka Obama is motivated, by the fact that he holds our two favorite virtues so completely. He’s spot on where the issues are concerned, and he is Kennedyesque – larger than life, handsome, passionate, articulate, and more charismatic than even Ronald Reagan.

**For example, Hatch was forced by political reality to equivocate on taxes. Hutchinson proudly proclaimed that he would raise them. Many Minnesota liberals are “proud to pay for a better Minnesota.”

***Democrat, Farm and Labor

****And consider this – something holds Republicans together even though their ranks include, at one extreme, Main Street Republicans and, at the other, Evangelical Christians (but also includes neoconservatives, libertarians, Eisenhower Republicans, fiscal conservatives and Log Cabin Republicans). You know what that glue is? You know what holds Republicans together? It’s that even though no candidate can appeal to all those Republican communities, whoever they select will be better (in their minds) than a Democrat.

*****Pun intended.

Who Knew the Election Would Impact Gas Prices So Profoundly (and So Quickly too)

2006-11-10T10:17:00.000-06:00

On the way to work I stopped for gas at one of the worst gas stations in the metro area. Something is always broken at this gas station. The pumps never work, the car wash doesn’t dry your car, the fuel is watered down, and the staff is rude. The only thing that doesn’t suck at this gas station is the vacuum. It’s also about 300 yards away from a Twin Cities International* airport runway. While you pump you gas, you can count on being blown off your feet and deafened all while your nostrils are assaulted by jet fuel.

But they usually have low prices.

Anyway, I was greeted by a big sign reading “under new management.” I was cautiously optimistic.

I followed the proper protocols:

I opened my gas latch.
I unscrewed and removed the gas cap.
I inserted and then quickly removed my credit card.
I said “yes” to the car wash.
I selected the “Express Wash”
I lifted the nozzle.
I inserted the nozzle in my car.
I selected my fuel grade.
I pressed start.
I squeezed the trigger.

And nothing happened. I squeezed the trigger again. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Nary an ounce of petrol.

I cancelled my transaction then drove to pump 9.

I followed the proper protocols again.

I opened my gas latch.
I unscrewed and removed the gas cap.
I inserted and then quickly removed my credit card.
I said “yes” to the car wash.
I selected the “Express Wash”
I lifted the nozzle.
I inserted the nozzle in my car.
I selected my fuel grade.
I pressed start.
I squeezed the trigger.

And nothing happened.

I left the trigger squeezed and went in to ask them to turn on pump 9.

Let me add that it was windy and cold and that my repeated efforts to get gas at this gas station had me out in the elements with an inadequate jacket, no hat, and no gloves or mittens, for quite some time. Two big old jets went by. Big old jets.

The “new management” at the gas station, by its actions, suggested that the pump was fine, but that the customer was a doggone idiot.

So they sent someone out to show me how to pump gas.

Friends, I’ve been pumping gas for more than 20 years, and I can’t be all that dumb – I voted for the Democrats!

He followed the proper protocols (or steps 6 through 10 anyway):

He lifted the nozzle.
He inserted the nozzle in my car.
He asked me to select my fuel grade; I did so.
He pressed start.
He squeezed the trigger.

And….nothing.

He repeated the steps. Same results.

Then the “new management” guy told me to try pump 8.

I told him that would be my third one this morning. He shrugged and walked away. I guess the new management hasn’t had time for any customer service training just yet.

I was on my way to pump 8, when some less-than-kind person backed into the spot like I wasn’t there. I had to back up so that he wouldn’t hit my car.

I had enough and decided that after work I’d get gas somewhere else. I only needed to make sure that I had enough to get to work and then, on my way home, to a filling station with competent leadership.

What I saw surprised me.

For the second time this week, God smiled upon me.

My tank was full - the cost to me?

Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Nary a nickel.

Best. Week. Ever***.

*The 8th busiest airport in the world. Yes, I know, that’s what I said (only I didn’t use profanity, and shame on you!). I heard it on NPR, so it must be true. While I’m at it, 62% of Minnesotans voted – which makes us number one in America**.

**And means our American “experiment” in Democracy is not going so well. Politics are too mean, it’s too hard to register, it’s harder still to vote, and you’re just going to end up with a lousy Governor because of a stupid third-party anyway.

***And yes, I gave thought to going back to negotiate some kind of payment. I just got gas for nothing. But what would I pay them? And, perhaps more to the point, how long would it take me to explain all this to the “new management?”

An Open Letter to Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld

2006-11-09T09:10:00.000-06:00

Dear Mr. Rumsfeld,

Robert McNamara looks at you and says “there but for the grace of God go I.”

Watch the man’s movie; it’s possible to rehabilitate after a life of crime.

Peace out (emphasis on the peace).

And I’m out.

Duf*

*A man who is mostly happy, but not without sadness and disgust and despair and despondency and hope (Arizona? Arizona but not Wisconsin? Shame badgers, shame!) and gratitude.

Democracy in Action; or: An Alternative to Electronic Voting

2006-11-07T16:08:00.000-06:00

TinyE voted with me this morning. She was really great as we waited in line, and she was excited to see that Mrs. Duf had already been there and already voted.

When we finally got to the part where I marked my votes, I explained to her that we were picking people to run our government. We live in St. Paul, St. Paul is a city in the State of Minnesota, and Minnesota is a State in the country of the United States of America. We are picking people to manage things for the city, for the state and for the whole country.

To say the least, she was nonplussed.

I was filling in circles, just like the old ACT and SAT days when she asked me “are there any girls listed on there?”

I was pleased to say that yes, there were.

I told her that I just voted for an Amy, a Betty and a Mike running with a Judi. I told her that I voted for an Ellen and for an Alice.

“The Alice who came to my birthday party?”

“No, a different Alice.”

As we were leaving, she said “that was not what I expected.”

“Really, honey, why not?” I asked.

“Well,” she said, “I thought we’d all sit in a circle, and when they asked who we wanted, then we would raise our hands!”

Six Years of Conservatism, the A to Z Case for a Democratic House and Senate

2006-11-06T10:31:00.000-06:00

I know I'm forgetting things.

Please help me by adding what I've missed in comments.

Most things are listed because conservative and republican leadership has had a negative impact, some things are listed because, under that leadership, no progress has been made, no effort has been made, or it is clearly not a priority.

Please vote tomorrow. Vote for happiness. Vote for love. Vote for peace.

9/11 Commission recommendations
2836 coalition casualties and counting
45477 to 50446 civilian casualties and counting

Abramoff, Jack
Abu Ghraib
Afghanistan
AIDS
Air quality
Al-Qaeda
Alito, Samuel
ANWAR
Ashcroft, John
Assault Weapons
Axis of Evil

Bin Laden, Osama
Border policy
Brown, Michael (“You’re doing a heck of a job, Brownie”)
Budget Deficit
Bush, George
Bush v. Gore (Supreme Court opinion)

CAFTA
Campaign Finance Reform Act
Carbon dioxide
Cheney, DICK
Child poverty
Civil Liberties
Civil Rights
Contraception
Coulter, Ann
Creationism
Culture of corruption

Darfur
Defense spending
DeLay, Tom
Department of Homeland Security
Dependence on foreign oil
Detainee Abuses
Detainee Rights
Dobson, James

Enemy Combatants
Environmental policy
Evangelicals

Faith-based initiatives
Fear
Federal aid to international family planning agencies (ending of)
FEMA
Florida Voting Irregularities
Flu vaccine shortage
Focus on the family
Foley, Mark

Gas prices
Geneva Convention
Gerrymandering
Global Warming
Gonzales, Alberto
Greenhouse gases
Guantanamo

Haggard, Ted
Halliburton
Hanging Chads
Hastert, Dennis
Health care expenses
Heating Assistance
Homelessness
Homophobia
Hubris
Hunger

Illegal wiretaps
Imminent Threat
Intelligent Design
Iran
Iraq

Judicial appointees
Jobless rate

Katrina
Kyoto Protocols

Lieberman, Joseph
Lies
Limbaugh, Rush

Medicare and Medicaid
Middle Class
Minimum wage
Mission Accomplished

National Intelligence Estimate
Nationalism
Neoconservatism
Ney, Bob
No Child Left Behind
Noe, Tom
North Korea

Ohio Voting Irregularities
Oil Company profits
O’Reilly, Bill

Peace
Pensions
Phone records
Plame, Valerie
Poor get Poorer
Ports Dubai
Prescription Drug Policy
Presidential Daily Briefing

Quagmire

Renewable energy
Reproductive rights
Rice, Condolezza
Rich get Richer
Roberts, John
Rove, Karl
Rumsfeld, Don

Santorum, Rick
Scalia, Antonin
Schiavo, Terry
Secret Energy Meetings
Sherwood, Don
Shock and awe
Social Security Reform
Standing in international community
Stay the Course
Stem cell research
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth

Tax cuts for the wealthy
Teach for America (lack of funding for)
Ten Commandments in public parks
Thomas, Clarence
Torture
Trade deficit

Unfunded mandates
Union policy
Unilateral military actions
USA Patriot Act

Values voters
Vouchers

War crimes
War wounded
Water quality
Waterboarding
White House Office for Women’s Initiatives and Outreach (closing of)
Wiretaps
WMD
Worker safety

Xenophobia

Yucca Mountain

ZPG

Stakes are High and It Won't Be Easy

2006-11-03T10:04:00.000-06:00

Next Tuesday we have a chance to undo mistakes we’ve made at least three times.

It will not be easy.

Today, I won’t write much, please, please, please read this instead.

It’s written by one of my heroes.

Highlights:

“There’s a lively debate among historians over the question of whether the record of the forty-third President, compiled with the indispensable help of a complaisant Congress, is the worst in American history or merely the worst of the sixteen who managed to make it into (if not out of) a second full term. That the record is appalling is by now beyond serious dispute.”

“The Senate’s fifty-five Republicans represent fewer Americans than do its forty-five Democrats. On the House side, Democratic candidates have won a higher proportion of the average district vote than Republicans in four of the five biennial elections since 1994, but—thanks to a combination of gerrymandering and demo-graphics—Republicans remain in the majority. To win back the House, Democrats need something close to a landslide.”

And the stunning conclusion:

“In an interview with one of three dozen right-wing radio hosts invited to spend a day broadcasting from the White House, Cheney was asked if he didn’t think it was “silly” even to debate about “dunking a terrorist in water.” “I do agree,” he replied. The interviewer pressed: “Would you agree a dunk in water is a no-brainer if it can save lives?” Cheney: “It’s a no-brainer for me.”

The “dunk in water” they were talking about is waterboarding. It has been used by the Gestapo, the North Koreans, and the Khmer Rouge. After the Second World War, a Japanese soldier was sentenced to twenty-five years’ hard labor for using it on American prisoners. It is torture, and torture is not a no-brainer. It is a no-souler. The no-brainer is the choice on Election Day.”

What I Believe, What I Support

2006-11-02T15:19:00.000-06:00

Two intro comments.

First, I was having a debate with a mormon friend of mine and in explaining myself I wrote down my stance on several major issues. When I was done, I thought - I should post this.

Second, I've been reading a fair number of web sites that politicians put in support of their campaigns. In the issues sections, they are all horrible. I offer this as a model for how they can express their beliefs. Just say it plainly and simply. You'll lose voters, but people will know where you stand. Your stance will be clear.

Here's where I stand - did I miss something?

I am against the death penalty.

I support reproductive freedom and women’s health. I support privacy. I am pro-choice, but I would work very hard to reduce and nearly eliminate the need for abortions by providing education on birth control, making birth control widely available, expanding the availability of and education around Plan B, and by providing meaningful and entertaining diversions for young people, by creating schools that children see as a pathway to a future full of opportunity, and by fighting childhood poverty. I do not support inconvenience legislation in the abortion arena (parental notification, 24 hour waiting periods, informed consent, “think about it” pamphlets). I believe those things are demeaning to women.

I would increase spending on education, and, instead of testing for academic progress, I would legislate a cap on classroom sizes. The cap would be 15 in elementary school, 18 in junior high school, and 20 in high school. I would adopt minimum standards for building quality in all schools. Schools should be clean, modern, comfortable, and inspirational.

I believe we can afford to do those things, if we just make those things our priorities.

I would give every fourth-grader a laptop computer to use for every grade from then until they graduated from high school.

I think that public universities should be tuition free. I believe that text books should be provided at no expense to college students.

Every day, physical education would be required for all students, no exceptions.

Foreign languages are mandatory beginning in elementary school.

I would fund all this with cuts in defense spending and with changes to tax policy.

I support the Apollo II project for renewable energy. Big time. I support it for its positive impact on the environment, I support it for its job creation, its innovation, its reduction to our dependence on foreign oil, and for its sanity. It’s like the modern version of Roosevelt’s WPA – it would improve our nation and our world.

I support Kyoto and would actually strengthen it.

I would aggressive act to decrease carbon dioxide and green-house gas emissions. In other words, I would work very hard to turn back the global warming trend and reduce the greenhouse gas effect (a part of my support for Apollo II).

I would increase taxes on the wealthiest 5%.

I would increase the gas tax two cents per year for the next 25 years.

I would tax pornography at 25%.

I would tax exotic dancers, especially Chippendale dancers.

I would increase the cigar, cigarette and beer, wine and liquor taxes.

Bongs, one-hitters, hookahs and the like would be taxed at 25%.

I would not invest in any new programs until the budget deficit was erased.

I would increase luxury taxes on automobiles that cost more than $45,000, on private airplanes and jets, on jewelry that cost more than $2,000, on fur coats, and other luxury items.

I would increase the tax on guns, rifles, shotguns, bullets, shells and plugs.

I would tax SUVs and gradually increase the tax on SUVs over the next ten years until owning them was painful. I would create an exemption for those who legitimately need an SUV. But I would make that standard very high.

I would not tax any property with a tax assessed value of 50% of less of the median home price in a county.

I would increase property taxes on all homes above 3500 square feet.

I would increase taxes on second homes or vacation homes.

I would decriminalize the possession of drugs.

I would allow the sale of currently illegal drugs by the state or federal governments.

I would tax those drugs.

I would increase taxes on cosmetic dentistry.

I would increase taxes on plastic surgery.

I generally support partial public financing for sports stadiums and arenas.

I favor gun control. In particular, I’m opposed to handguns and anything that expands their use/availability.

I support single-payer healthcare.

I would increase funding on public transportation – buses and trains should be widely available, convenient and inexpensive. I think we should be creative in imagining a system beyond the automobile.

I would increase taxes on parking.

I would eliminate the income ceiling on the Social Security tax.

I would raise the age at which Social Security benefits begin.

I would keep the internet free.

I would allow flag burning.

I would allow idiots and hate-mongers to protest outside of funerals for GLBT persons. I would drown them out with messages of love.

I would plant 1,000,000 trees.

I would dedicate more land for space.

I support historic preservation.

I support rational immigration policy. I would allow documented guest workers. I would review and revise all current immigration limits; I would also review amnesty rules.

I would not build a fence at the border between the United States and Mexico.

I would review and revise the rules at the border to making it harder for immigration without guest-worker status.

Though the neo-conservative movements gives me isolationist tendencies, I would change American foreign policy by participating more actively in the international community. While I would not seek to change our role as a leader, I would recognize that we are no longer a super power. I would seek International assistance in stabilize Iraq and rededicate American troops to participating in an International peace-keeping effort. I would not go to war with Iran. I would focus military energy, currently allocated elsewhere on the capture of Osama bin Laden. I would hold him accountable for his crimes.

I would increase spending on intelligence.

I would devote tremendous energy to coordination among intelligence entities.

I would adopt the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission.

I would allow people to bring more than 3 ounces of lotion on-board airplanes, which is
my way of saying I would revisit TSA policies.
I support line-item vetoes for governors and for the President.

I support instant runoff elections.

For a really long time I didn’t, but now I support term limits. I like the idea of a citizen
legislature – 12 years is the max.

I would abolish the Electoral College and elect the President by popular vote.

I would tie voter registration to the licensing and photo ID process. If you have a driver’s
license or photo ID, then you can vote.

I’ll admit that I need to think about Israel and Palestine. I don’t know what I would do there. Educate me.

I would change littering laws so that anyone caught littering would spend a day in jail. I would make it a Wednesday. I would give police officers a $250 bonus for every 10 people they catch littering where a conviction resulted.

I would give new parents 12 months leave to divide as they see fit.

I support same-sex marriage.

I feel that if a class of citizens are excluded from a particular thing, then that particular thing should not be offered by the state.

I do not support prayer in schools.

I do not support the placement of the Ten Commandments in public places.

I would not allow the teaching of creationism in public schools because I believe it establishes a religion.

I would not allow the teaching of intelligent design for the same reason, but also because it’s dumb.

I’m pro union, and I would strengthen labor laws so that executives cannot use labor unrest as a means of strong-arming working men and women into rescuing corporations from years of poor decisions.

No, you may not dishonor your pension commitments. Pensions are guaranteed. They’re not guaranteed by the government, they’re guaranteed by corporations.

My driving theory of criminal justice is rehabilitation, not punishment.

But, I support life in prison – as a way to segregate criminals whose crimes are so heinous, or so likely to recur again, that they cannot be returned to free society.

I would rewrite campaign laws to promote a multi-party system (I believe instant runoff elections is the way there).

I would direct a lot of attention and resources to the global AIDS pandemic.

To fighting hunger.
To Darfur.
To sub-Saharan Africa.
To the Middle East.
To animals and endangered species.
To clean air, clean water, clean soil.
To reducing sprawl.
To urban renewal.
To ending domestic violence.
To peace.

What's the Real Issue Again?

2006-11-01T14:21:00.000-06:00

Mrs. Duf and I just finished watching “The War at Home (1979)” a documentary focusing on Vietnam-era protests in Madison, Wisconsin*.

The film touches very briefly on the impact that was felt on campuses all over the country when the draft reached college students. Before the draft, college kids just protested the war, they didn’t fight in it. To avoid the draft, students were given a test. If they scored above a certain number, then they were exempt from military service.

The students, many of whom also burned their draft cards, protested the unfairness of allowing them an out (the test), but not allowing that same out in “Harlem and Watts.”

So, I place John Kerry’s “controversial” comment and Bush’s response in that context.

Throughout this war against Iraq (or is it a liberation?) there have been jokes about 20-year old Republican patriots who talk tough, but aren’t exactly signing up for military service.

The point is that those hypocrites don’t have any skin in the game.

Behind the jokes is the same point that Kerry was trying to make: middle-class kids whose parents can afford college tuition are not as invested (proportionately) in this war as kids from less affluent backgrounds who are persuaded to military service by hefty financial incentives offered to them by Uncle Sam.

This war, like all modern wars, disproportionately impacts the less fortunate.

I think that what Kerry meant was that if Republicans retain control of all four estates, then the war will likely expand to impact those of us who have avoided the impact up to this point.

To take on Iran, we’ll either need a draft or we’ll need cloning technology.

And yes, I’ll admit that Kerry is not the most articulate fellow of all time. His remarks were vulnerable to misinterpretation, and they are being misinterpreted by a newly desperate Republican majority that is desperate to retain its advantage, and very, very adept and the politics of ridicule, slander and misdirection.

So, I will not express surprise that Republicans, rather than limiting their remarks to Kerry’s assertion, are addressing their remarks only at Kerry himself.

Let’s not discuss the statement, let’s discuss the man who made it.

UPDATE: Apparently, Kerry botched the joke. He said: "Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up stuck in a war in Iraq."

He meant to say: "Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq."

*worth seeing if only for the interview with Allen Ginsberg looking squeaky clean in a professorial coat and tie.

All Hallow's Eve

2006-10-31T20:01:00.000-06:00

I live in Minnesota where children bundle up and go trick-or-treating even when it’s 29 degrees. All you do is put on a color-coordinated coat over your outfit*.

Highlights from trick-or-treating:

We doubled the number of houses we visited last year, and at no point did I have to carry the candy or the trick-or-treater.

The neighbor who handed out 20-ounce bottles of Diet Pepsi last year handed out snack size bags of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish this year**.

After two houses where older women (estimated age = 70) gave us candy, TinyE said: “we just met two old people!”

Mrs. Duf tried to use Halloween to pawn off some nasty fruit snacks that no one in our house likes. As for me, I only hand out candy***.

Our neighbors gave us a huge Halloween-style gingerbread house!

Three neighbors handed out those organic “save the planet” chocolates that you get at Whole Foods****.

Does this happen in your neighborhood? After about 7:15, all the trick-or-treaters arrive by car (driven by their parents).

In order to shut down distribution, we have to turn off the porch lights, all the lights in the house, put the pumpkin in the backyard, and go to the basement.

In spite of all that, people still ring the doorbell. We think it's a trick.

*Unless your coat will fit under your outfit.

**In other words, she chose not to "stay the course." She identified her policy mistakes and corrected them.

***I don’t want to get egged, you dig?

****That’s right, our neighborhood is Bush Country…er….well, maybe not so much.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

2006-10-31T14:51:00.000-06:00

I live in Minnesota, and I’m thinking about two statistics where I’m not normal.

First Interesting Statistic:

The Minneapolis Star Tribune posted an interesting statistic on Sunday.

It was:

For every $1.00 that a Minnesota family spends on housing, it spends $1.11 on transportation.

I assume that housing dollars include: rent or mortgage, insurance, utilities and maintenance.

I assume that transportation dollars include auto payments or leases, insurance, fuel, bus or train passes, maintenance and (maybe) parking.

Applying this standard, here’s how the ratio plays out at the Duf household:

In 2007, for every $1.00 we spend on housing, we will spend .58 on transportation.

And that counts the car payment I just took on*.

For most of 2006, for every $1.00 we spent on housing, we spent .21 on transportation.

And we live in a humble home.

But my wife’s commute is 1.1 miles. Mine is 12.7 miles.

She has no car payment and is content to drive her 1999 Toyota Corolla into perpetuity (she drives fewer than 7.000 miles per year).

Second Interesting Statistic:

Right now, in my wallet, I have $10 in the form of one ten dollar bill.

That’s way above average for me. Way.

I usually have $1.00 to $2.00, or no cash at all.

When I travel, I try to remember to get cash for tips and tolls.

This summer, Esquire magazine published an article on “the State of the American Male.” It was a breakdown of how men in different age groups answered the same interesting questions**.

One was: how much money do you have in your wallet?

I don’t remember the precise number, but it was something like $134.90.

And I’m all like – in 2006, who carries that much cash around? And, goodness - gracious, why?

*That’s right, I traded in the 1999 Subaru Outback (Anniversary Edition) for a used Saab. I won’t lie, I did it to stave off a gathering mid-life crisis of sorts. The 1999 Subaru Outback was one of my favorite characters in ILIM, and I’m sorry you had to learn of our disassociation this way.

**One of them was which would you rather have, a three way with Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johannsen, or $50,000.” An overwhelming majority of men took the $50,000. You’ll have to guess which of the two Duf would select.

I Hate My Job Today

2006-10-30T10:00:00.000-06:00

I live in Minnesota, and I hate my job today.

I’ll be here in beautiful, bucolic and bountiful Bloomington, Minnesota, in view of the Mall of America*.

I’ll participate on conference calls.

I’ll send and receive phone calls.

I’ll send and receive email messages.

During a sanctioned break, I’ll tour the blogosphere, making a comment or two.

But my heart won’t be in it.

First, at noon, my heart will be in downtown Minneapolis at the Border’s bookstore.

Then, around 5:00, my heart will be in Rochester, Minnesota, where that amazing man will be stumping for Senate candidate Amy Klobuchar and Tim Walz.

That’s right, only 1.5 hours away, the next President of the United States, will winning hearts and minds, and I’ll be in Bloomington, watching the sun set** on our shrine to commerce.

“Stupid job. I hate you job. You’re so stupid today.”

“No, I don’t have to. Just get away from me.”

“Dumb, stupid, horrible job.”

*To be more precise, I can only see the parking ramp on the east side of the Mall.

**I think the sun sets at about 2:17 p.m. today.

Other Things on My Mind Right Now

2006-10-26T21:26:00.000-05:00

I live in Minnesota, and I’ve been known to listen to a Madonna song from time to time.

And I have to say, as I’ve gotten older, I find myself (in spite of myself) becoming more and more detached from popular culture (with a special hello to my good friend at A Good Yarn who is a pop culture goddess).

A typical weekday for me goes a little something like this (hit it!):

6:00 Wake up
6:01 – 6:10 Eliminate waste
6:11 – 6:19 Stare into the nothingness or skim newspaper
6:20 – 6:45 Veg out to ESPN Sportscenter
6:45 – 6:50 Shave
6:50 – 7:00 Shower
7:01 – 7:09 Eat 1.5 bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios (Sportscenter)
7:10 – 7:29 Check email, draft blog post
7:30 - 8:45 Beg, plead, wrestle, coax, yell, bribe and reward TinyE to school
8:45 – 9:ish Arrive at work
9:ish – 6:ish Work (some time on the internet)
6:ish – 6:45or so Drive Home
6:45 – 7:30 Dinner, dishes, skim newspaper

7:00 – 8:00 Watch Wifeswap (Mondays only)

7:31 – 8:00 Homework with TinyE, or crafts, or some such diversion
8:01 – 9:00 Watch sports, if available
9:01 – sleep Read*

What you’ll note about this schedule is that I have very little time to connect with the lives of celebrities.

I’ve reach an age** where people who appear on the covers of magazines that are for the super-famous (like People or Vanity Fair or Us Weekly) are completely and totally unfamiliar to me. I literally have no clue who they are.

Unless it’s on NPR or Sunday morning political shows, I often have no idea what it is.

I have never seen “Desperate Housewives,” “Lost,” “Dharma and Greg” or any new show that started this season (“The Nine” is the only one that comes to mind). I have, however, seen 2 of the 3 Worlds Series games.

So, with that as background, I want to confess that for some reason, Madonna and Guy Ritchie adopting a child from Africa really doesn’t bother me that much. I feel like I should be outraged, but I can’t really muster up any regard for it at all. I don’t even care if she avoided the bureaucracy and red tape that we typically associated with international adoptions. In fact, I assume that the rich and famous often get advantages of this nature. I do think the child is in for some amazing culture shock. I do hope that adopting African babies does not become vogue (the 2006 version of the “Manny”). I do hope the child is not victimized by the media circus. I don’t necessarily think he will have a better life, but I know he will have a different life. I suppose the widower/father’s opinion matters overall, but it does not shape my response.

I don’t really care.

Is that wrong?

*I’m currently reading J.D. Salinger’s “Franny and Zooey.” Zooey is a boy. I did not know that until Tuesday of this week. Yes, I’m ignorant. I know almost nothing. My initial reaction to “Franny and Zooey” was that it was pretty darn good, but as the Franny “chapter” gives way to the Zooey “chapter,” Salinger goes from above-average to amazing. The letter from Buddy to Zooey was so good I read it twice.

**Age in this case really is a state of mind. People much older than I am are totally up on who’s who in popular culture. Also, where music is concerned, I try desperately to keep up with the college crowd***.

***I usually fail.

The Case for Minneapolis; or: The Case Against St. Paul

2006-10-24T15:04:00.000-05:00

I live in Minnesota, and, within that, I live in St. Paul.

Some time ago I was standing in the Philly airport after a whirlwind 20-hour visit to the city of brotherly love*. I stopped to by a CD for my daughter. You know, one of those personalized jobbers that mentions her name in all the songs. Luckily, they had TinyE’s name on file. Behind me in line, was a man from Atlanta who was buying a CD for his daughter Emma. He asked me where I was from. I answered “St. Paul.” He returned a blank stare. Then I said “Minneapolis” – and he knew exactly what I was talking about.

Later that night, Mrs. Duf and I went to see “The Great Gatsby” at the new Guthrie Theater. The play was just okay, but it featured the same joke. Early on, whilst out in West Egg and East Egg, Nick Carraway says he’s from St. Paul. Blank stares. Later in the play, he says he’s from Minneapolis, and he’s greeted by smiles and knowing recognition. People think he’s cool and handsome and smart.

Around here, there are at least two jokes about the sister cities.

Joke of the first part:

Minneapolis wants to be Chicago; St. Paul knows its Des Moines.

Joke of the second part:

Minneapolis is the girl you date when you want to have fun. St. Paul is the girl you take home to your parents**.

When I first settled in the twin cities in 1990, I chose Minneapolis as my home. I was going to school at the time and lived in Dinkytown, and area near the campus of the University of Minnesota***. In short order I moved to the bustling and fashionable Uptown area. I lived in Minneapolis until 7 years ago when, during a personal crisis, I took leave of my senses and took temporary residence in St. Paul.

My wife (though at the time she was just a gal I was digging) lived in St. Paul. Her house was bigger and had more furniture it than mine did, so I moved in with her in St. Paul. I’ve regretted it ever since.

Every time I’m behind some yokel driving 30 in a 35 with their tires right on the dotted lines, I think I’m going to have a fit.

Whenever a car turns from the driving lane, blissfully ignoring the turning lane and slowing down scores of cars, I close my eyes and dream I’m in alert and speedy Minneapolis.

St. Paul and Minneapolis are almost the exact same size (in terms of population), but the comparisons stop there.

Almost everything worth doing is in Minneapolis. If you have a top ten list of the best restaurants, 8 of them will be in Minneapolis, and one of them will be in Stillwater.

The Twins, the Vikings, the Timberwolves and every team associated with the University of Minnesota has its games in Minneapolis.

The Guthrie, The Walker Arts Center, the Minneapolis Institute of Arts…they’re all in Minneapolis.

St. Paul has the State Fair, but Minneapolis has the Uptown Art Fair.

The two downtowns, when compared, tell the whole story. One is a cow town, desperately clinging to its glory days, and thanking God that the state capital (and capitol for that matter) is nearby. At 5:00 it’s a ghost town – unless the Wild have a hockey game. The other is a vibrant, architecturally significant place abundant with nightlife, condominiums, entertainments, eateries, vice and sport (though not necessarily in that order).

And I’ll say it. In the ice-cream wars Izzy’s and The Grand Ole Creamery are very nice, but Sebastian Joes and Crema are better. There. I said it.

Minneapolis has an amazing chain of lakes – Calhoun, Isles and Harriet, that extend by a canal to Cedar Lake. The have Lake Nokomis and the Minnehaha Creek with the Minnehaha Falls. They have an amazing bike trail that connects the city to its western suburbs. The have two Pizza Luce restaurants. They have Electric Fetus record store.

First Avenue, the famous nightclub (featured in the Prince film “Purple Rain”)…well, it ain’t on First Avenue in St. Paul, let me put it that way.

St. Paul had this really cool jazz club called the Dakota. It was very nice, and close to our house. Yep. It used to be located in Dakota Square on Energy Park drive in St. Paul. Now? Oh, now it’s on Nicollet Avenue in downtown Minneapolis.

St. Paul has Como and Phalen, fine lakes, sure, but (trust me on this) they have no where near the charm of the Minneapolis group.

Our beautiful new light rail system, runs from the Mall of America, along Hiawatha Avenue to beautiful, glistening downtown…

I don’t even need to finish it, do I?

To top it all off, Minneapolis is a better run city. They plow their alleys; they pick up trash instead of having private companies do it; residents get two vouchers a year to dump trash items for free.

And the cherry on top? Yep…it’s on top of a spoon in Minneapolis.

*Home of Aerenchyma, SK and (at one time) The Keez

**Yes, it’s a bit unenlightened, isn’t it? But the implication is that Minneapolis is sexy and cool and might pull you out of your comfort zone. Minneapolis is racy and complex and kinda dangerous. St. Paul is conservative and says all the right things.

***Go Gophers!

What Michael Told Me

2006-10-19T15:02:00.000-05:00

I was flying home after an impromptu business trip yesterday. After two days of banging my head against the wall, I was really excited to spend some quality time drinking Dewars on the rocks and reading Martin Amis's "The Rachel Papers" (so far so good). I knew that as soon as our meals arrived* the gentleman sitting next to me would strike up a conversation. He did. Although I missed the 2.5 hours of uninterrupted reading, I really enjoyed our chat.

The gentleman sitting next to me, his name was Michael, had two school-aged kids. These are the three values he instills in them:

1. Learn a lot.
2. Make a lot of friends.
3. Behave yourself.

That about covers it doesn't it? And one could apply those rules to the work world too, no?

*Duf usually flies in the "forward cabin."

My Number One Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-17T17:37:00.000-05:00

My Number Two Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-16T15:44:00.000-05:00

This post is part of a series listing my ten wishes for the upcoming election. Each day I will post one wish starting with number 10 and working my way up to the wish I desire most. Because we should think globally and act locally, you’ll notice a Minnesota slant to my wishes. If you’re a progressive or a liberal or a left-wing nut job from another state, I hope your wishes come true too. And now, without further delay, here’s today’s wish…

2. Democrats regain control of the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate

I won’t even say why – it’s been ground we’ve covered so much. It’s time for change in Washington. Only the nuttiest nuts approve of the job that Congress is doing.

It’s said that most people exist in the political middle – being devoted to neither the left nor the right. If that’s true, then I would suspect that moderate republicans and everyone to the left of them would find value in a Democratic Congress to check the Conservative Executive branch.

Though it may not have been the most efficient model of all time, Newt Gingrich (for all my distaste for the man) made a fine foil during the Clinton years. We seem to work better when there is balance among the estates (executive, legislative, judicial, media). During the Clinton years, the balance of light (Clinton) and dark (Gingrich) led to some reasonable effective (though often polarized) government.

And if it’s good to have balance between the Executive and Legislative branches when the Executive is generally moderate and successfully pointed toward running the country well, it’s particularly true when the Executive is a corrupt incompetent bent on advancing oil interests and pioneering our migration toward an authoritarian theocracy.

Simply put, the Bush administration needs a check on its authority. And yes, Republicans have beat a hasty retreat from their past ties to the man, but we can’t really trust them to encourage Bush toward sensible policies, now can we? If the Republicans retain the majority in the House and in the Senate (and by all accounts it’s going to be very close), we can count on two more years of the Bush Administration, or, stated differently, two more years of failed domestic and foreign policy.

Two very quick examples:

From the foreign policy arena, I would point to the report prepared jointly by 17 national security agencies outlining how the war against Iraq has exacerbated global terrorism. I would also suggest that our focus on Iraq – really just an effort to maintain empire by maintaining access to the natural resource that fuels our empire (the British Empire was primarily fueled by coal, our empire, such as it was, was primary fueled by oil) – distracts us from more pressing foreign policy issues in Afghanistan and North Korea (to name but a few examples). We’re not safer under Bush. All the wiretaps and unlawful detentions and torture can’t cover up the fact that our leader is blind and a fool to boot.

From the domestic arena, I would point to the Bush tax cuts. We were told that they would stimulate the economy. Perhaps they have – the Dow is nearing 12,000, but the housing bubble might burst. Just like always, for every bit of good economic news, there is some bad news to share as well. Still, there is no denying that we went from a balanced budget to a record deficit. One in 12 tax dollars that are sent to Washington D.C. go toward interest on our federal debt (our national debt is $8.5 trillion). That is a failure of leadership and a result of an incompetent Administration not checked by Congress.

Next month, we have a chance to put a check in place. And if ever a President needed a check, it’s this President.

I recognize that voters tend to dislike Congress, but like their Congresswoman (or Congressman), but more is at stake this time that all that. The House race is going to be very close. The Senate race is going to be very close. If my wishes are going to come true, then the tide has to turn. If your representative is a rubber stamp for the President, then vote the scoundrel out.

My Third Wish for the 2006 Election Part Two: I admit that I’m not so much FOR Hatch as I’m AGAINST Pawlenty

2006-10-12T05:37:00.000-05:00

This post is part of a series listing my ten wishes for the upcoming election. Each day I will post one wish starting with number 10 and working my way up to the wish I desire most. Because we should think globally and act locally, you’ll notice a Minnesota slant to my wishes. If you’re a progressive or a liberal or a left-wing nut job from another state, I hope your wishes come true too. And now, without further delay, here’s today’s wish…

3. Mike Hatch Defeats Incumbent Tim Pawlenty, Minnesota Governor

I’ll start with a confession.

Mike Hatch, our Democratic candidate for Governor lines up well enough with me on the issues, but I liken him to a Microeconomics text book. You know he’s chock full of accurate data and useful information, but he’s not exactly a page turner.

He is, in fact, a wonk. He is intelligent. He knows only one direction – straight ahead, and he’s made his share of enemies.

I’ve skimmed* his position papers on economic growth, energy independence, the environment, education, health care, and corporate responsibility. He’s thoughtful and focused on a better Minnesota. I really, really think he will make a fine Governor. In large part because I think he wants to be the Governor. But also because I sincerely think he’ll pass up fancy for significant.

Unlike his opponent.

I really, really, really cannot stand Tim Pawlenty. If you think I don’t like the Bush Administration, it’s only because you haven’t been around me when I’m discussing Tim Pawlenty.

I gave very serious thought to started a blog, just for this campaign season on why people should not vote for Tim Pawlenty.

For example, just before he last election, Pawlenty, who, after receiving public financing agreed to abide by spending limits, ran a “coordinated campaign” with the Republican party. What that means is that he avoided the spending limits by directing how the Republican party supported his campaign. He avoided a hefty punishment by agreeing to a $100,000 fine and agreeing to reduce is campaign account by an additional $500,000.

Not long after he was elected with less than 50% of the vote, Pawlenty was involved in another scandal. He was director of a Telecommunications company NewTel, the parent company of a telcom that was accused of cheating its customers.

Later, he was slapped on the wrist for failing to disclose $60,000 he received while on retainer for another telecom, Access Anywhere. Access Anywhere just happens to be owned by a Republican activist.

I cannot comment on the whole of Minnesota history. But I can say that I have been here since 1990, and he is, by far, the worst Governor we’ve had since that time.

And it ain’t even close.

I would take 30 years of Jesse Ventura before I would sign on for another year of Tim Pawlenty.

He has turned our state into a joke - much more so than Ventura.

I’ll give you my favorite example. Tim Pawlenty signed an NRA-drafted law allowing private citizens to conceal and carry handguns after licensing them. As a result, if you come to Minnesota, every business you enter has a sign which reads “This Business bans guns in the premises.” And I kid you not, every single out-of-town visitor who comes to Minnesota (unless they’re from Texas) comments on it. And it’s never with appreciation. It’s always in ridicule.

Pawlenty vetoed a bill to resurrect the a state Poet Laureate. He’s anti-poetry.

Pawlenty signed a pledge the last time he ran. He pledged not to raise taxes. In order to keep his pledge (and I have a lengthy argument on how pledges of that sort elevate the interest of the individual (the candidate) over the best interests of the state (the electorate). And, of course, he could not break his pledge, so he did what anyone else would do when faced with a revenue problem. First, he cut expenses. Our parks lost funding. Our schools lost funding. College education lost funding (and increased tuition dramatically). He cut aid to local governments (and THEY raised taxes – so, in effect, Pawlenty did not raise taxes, he just pushed a button to make counties and cities raise taxes!). He cut transportation spending. He cut spending on the environment and on support for the less fortunate.

Then, when he couldn’t cut further, he started looking for alternative sources of revenue.

Here are my favorites:

A “user fee” on cigarettes (not a “tax,” mind you, a “user fee”)
He looked to add “non-Indian gaming” as a source of tax revenue.
He increased user fees in parks.
And, my all-time favorite, he asked private construction companies bidding on an enormous highway project to lend the state the money needed to fund the project.

That’s right, he wanted to borrow from private corporations to fund a highway project with an estimated price tag of several hundred million dollars.

And then he was done. We are, under Pawlenty, officially the laughing stock of the nation.

Through the whole thing, he was a poster boy for conservative nonsense. He offered the Minnesota National Guard to defend the border. He passed the NRA bill (without READING it, and I’m serious). He rallied for prayer in schools, the Ten Commandments in Parks, and against equal rights for GLBT Minnesotans. As the government worked its way toward a shut down, he showed no leadership, but was quick with talking points and finger pointing as soon as the shutdown began. No serious observer sees him as anything other than a party opportunist. He wants a national office. He does not want to be our Governor. He knows his values are not the values of the majority of Minnesotans, and he governed like he has a mandate anyway.

For that reason and all the reasons listed above, I wish Minnesotans had a Governor who wanted the job of Governor. I wish we had Mike Hatch instead of Tin Pawlenty.

*They’re quite long.

My Number Three Wish for the 2006 Elections, Part One: The Case for Instant Runoff Elections

2006-10-11T08:44:00.000-05:00

Fruits of the Blogosphere

2006-10-09T20:34:00.000-05:00

Last night I did something that (I think) is a bit unusual in America.

I met for dinner, two “friends” whom I’ve never met before.

I was in Philadelphia* for work, and I knew that it was the hometown of one of my favorite bloggers, so I asked if she and her husband would meet me for dinner.

And they did. And they did it without any reservations (at least none that I know of). And they did it on short notice, and they were thoroughly awesome**. And it was wonderful, and we hope to do it again the next time I’m in the city of brotherly love.

It all reminded me of an event that took place earlier this year. I was out of town traveling for work. I went to a restaurant at the hotel where I was staying, and I had breakfast. The place was relatively crowded, and the only table left for me was a table for four.

Not long after starting to eat, two women sat down at my table. They made no comment to me. They sat. They went to the buffet. They sat again and started to eat. As they ate, they spoke to each other in a language that was Scandinavian. I could only pick out a few words like: “handsome” “charming” and “well-groomed.” I have no idea who they were talking about – but I digress.

After time, I struck up a conversation with my uninvited (but welcomed) breakfast companions and gradually got a place where I felt comfortable telling them that it is a bit unusual to share a table in America (especially without saying – “do you mind if we sit here?” – I left that part out). They explained that it’s not that unusual in Sweden. With coy winks, they asked me what I was doing later that night, and I said “polishing the sterling silver picture frame that holds the photo of my wife and daughter.” They were crestfallen, but…

That’s how I roll. I’m focused like that.

So, if I could share a table with two Swedish women who may or may not have a web log, then why could I not share a table with two intelligent, progressive and wonderful Philadelphians who do?

Anyway, I really enjoyed dinner with friends*** in Philly. I now have three friends I’ve met in person as a result of the blogosphere****.

*The City of Philadelphia was made famous by the hit film “Philadelphia” starring Denzel Washington and Tom Hanks.

**They were down to earth and just plain cool. If they lived in Minnesota, I know we’d hang. We talked about meeting again the next time I’m in Philly. Philadelphia also factors prominently in our nation's history, but I'm not clear on the details there.

***Notice the quotation marks, visible in paragraph 2 above, are gone. Awwww...

****The first was Jinx, a frequent commenter to ILIM.

My Number Four Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-09T20:28:00.000-05:00

My Number Five Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-09T09:30:00.000-05:00

My Number Six Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-05T22:00:00.000-05:00

My Number Seven Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-05T07:08:00.000-05:00

Mark Foley is Just a Symptom, for the Disease, You Must Look at the Whole Mess Generally

2006-10-04T09:04:00.000-05:00

When I look back on the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, several thoughts come to mind:

I was disappointed in Bill for giving the scandal machine true grist for the mill.
I was sad that impeachment was sought and obtained.
I was upset that his legacy of economic prosperity and international diplomacy and peace would be tainted by the lowest kind of failing.

The scandal rippled out: thousands and thousands of voters chose an idiot over a wonk, in large part because the wonk was tied to the adulterer (translation: people “elected” Bush over Gore because they were mad at Clinton and saw Gore as connected to Clinton). Gore chose Leiberman as his running mate to distance himself from Clinton’s moral failing. Lieberman, a prominent, pro-impeachment critic of Clinton, was a great way for Gore to establish himself as a morally-sound man. Or at least challenge efforts to find him guilty by association.

And the Republicans, ever the opportunists (as are Democrats, yes, it’s true) rode to “victory” on a platform of morality.

Grand assumptions were made.

First, that if we made a return to their values, to Christian values, if we placed the Ten Commandments in parks and courthouses, if we allowed prayer in schools, then moral lapses like the one Clinton experienced would not happen. We’d all be morally sound and squeaky clean.

Second, however unstated or understated it was, that Republicans, or, more appropriately conservatives, were morally superior to Democrats/progressives/liberals.

And the social agenda took center stage. They decried homosexuality as a sin. They talked about prayer in schools and the Ten Commandments. Abortion/Plan B/Terry Schiavo and the sanctity of life were all trumpeted. All with the unspoken implication that conservatives value morality and “godliness” more than liberals/progressives/Democrats do.

In fact, the Red State/Blue State divide was buoyed by an undercurrent of Religion. Bush “won” a second term in large part because he cheated in Ohio, but also because, we were told, morality voters were fed up with the state of things in America.

During his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic Convention, Barack Obama spoke eloquently about how we, those of us who live in Blue States, worship a mighty God too. And he was/is right. But evangelical churches turned more and more political. They showed DVDs prepared by candidates and PACs to support whatever cause you can imagine – amending constitutions, Middle East policy, tax policy, etc. Churches, especially mega-churches, endorsed candidates – conservative candidates. They developed a massive get out the vote effort, all with the goal of electing Republicans. By electing Republicans, they hoped to fuel a return to a more moral America.

My mother-in-law, who often makes astute observations about the world, made a point months and months ago that really struck a chord with me. She said (I’m paraphrasing) “that America is no worse than it used to be. It was as dangerous to let a kid play in a park in the 1950’s as it is today, we just know about things more than we used to.” And she’s right. It’s the digital age. Words once spoken are now sent by Instant Message where they can be printed and saved. Scandals that were swept under the rug, now play out, day by day, on the internet. The incidents of pathology probably haven’t increased. There are, proportionately, the same number of pedophiles and rapists and kidnappers and (most despicably, and I come near tears just thinking about it) people who would seek to murder children in Amish schoolhouses in Pennsylvania. We just know about it more than we used to.

And my point of this very long post which shows no sign of tapering is this: if we know anything from the Mark Foley scandal it is this:

No party can truly claim the moral high ground.
We, as humans, often lack the strength of our convictions.
Most politicians (regardless of party) value power over virtue.
Our systems encourages this approach.
Pride goeth before the fall (and our conservative friends were very proud, very proud indeed)

I would ask for the following:

Anyone who knew of this, however playful they perceived it to be, should resign immediately.

Republicans, should be seen for what they really are: an imperfect party filled with imperfect people – a party that manipulates the religious right for political gain.

Republicans are no better able to lead our return to morality than anyone else. Consider the evidence:

Mark Foley

Dennis Hastert

Karl Rove (more great Rove stuff here and here)

Clark Allen

Jack Abramhoff

Newt Gingrich

George W. Bush

I say again, George W. Bush

Rush Limbaugh

And it’s not just individuals. Companies with ties to the Bush Administration like Enron (a number of impressive articles are linked here) and Halliburton suggest a conservative system of values that isn’t exactly Christ-like.

And look, my goal is not to criticize people for mistakes they’ve made or addictions they’ve had. My goal is not to poke fun at tragedy. My goal is to point out that if we treated all these folks the way Clinton was treated, or if we denied to conservatives the ability to speak on matters of principle and morality because one person fell down, well then I’m sure we’d have a different executive branch than we do today. We’d have different political priorities. We’d have less ham-handedness and pride.

Does conservative “leadership” call to mind a return to morality to you? Do recent efforts to minimize scandal suggest the high road? The lies behind the war against Iraq. The revenge sought against Valerie Plame. The greed, the drugs, the fraud, the lies, the nationalism – does any of it seem moral? At what point to we call these conservatives on the carpet for their hubris?

And let me answer my own rhetorical question. We call them on the carpet at the point when the average citizen finally puts it all together. Our leaders are incompetent. They seek an authoritarian form. They lie. They cover up. They are indifferent to the death and suffering which is a direct result of their incompetence and dishonesty. They are, in their own eyes, flawless. They don’t respect you. They don’t respect me. They don’t respect life. They only respect power.

For where you have…selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

James 3:16

My Number Eight Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-02T09:37:00.000-05:00

My Number Nine Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-02T09:30:00.000-05:00

My Number Ten Wish for the 2006 Elections

2006-10-02T08:33:00.000-05:00

Please Support the 2006 Referendum for Continued Excellence in Schools; a Request in Three Chapters

2006-09-29T15:42:00.000-05:00

Chapter One In Which our Heroes Outline Strategies around Pedagogy

This year, we devoted a lot of time and energy to shopping for schools.

We narrowed our list down to three public schools and two private schools.

We visited them all and kept separate mental lists of their strengths and weaknesses.

Mrs. Duf’s first choice was a public magnet school. We did not get in.

Her second choice (my first choice) is the public school that TinyE attends now.

My second choice was a private school – we didn’t even apply.

We chose the school we did, in part, because it offered many of the things we want in a school:

Music, incl. Band and Orchestra
Science
Compuer lab
Physical Education
Library
Field Trips
Resident Artist Program
Foreign Language
Etc.

Chapter Two Some Frightening Realities become Apparent

The school year begins, and Mrs. Duf and I attend our first PTA meeting.

At the meeting we learn a few things.

First, the school has a library but no librarian.
Second, men don’t attend PTA meetings.
Third, a lot of the offerings that supported our decision to send TinyE to that school were funded by private dollars.
Fourth, band and orchestra cost money.

I felt sick*.

Here’s why. At the time we were making decisions about the school our daughter would attend, resting behind our decision was not the shrewd use of dollars uniformly given to every school by municipal governments. It was the same class-based stuff that is behind everything.

Her school happens to be in a progressive middle to upper-middle class neighborhood in St. Paul. The music program, the librarian (that we’ll no doubt hire), the foreign language, the Resident Artist program – it’s all funded by a combination of fundraisers and donations – emphasis on the donations.

Which means, to me, that a lot of schools that struggle do so because they don’t have the parental support that our school does. And our school has the parental suppor that it does because of where it is located. Schools in less fortunate neighborhoods can't count on the same level of support. And I kind of feel like we could/should be parents supporting one of those struggling schools. Choosing the school we did is, in effect, exactly the same as choosing a private school.

Chapter Three Denouement

In November, there is a ballot measure to increase property tax revenue generated for the Saint Paul Public Schools (SPPS). ILIM learned recently that St. Paul desperately needs this referendum.

Some statistics:

SPPS ranks 27th among metro area schools districts in per pupil dollars generated by referendum.

SPPS is the second largest public school district in the state.

SPPS current receives $331 per pupil per year for education.

Kindergarteners count ½; so for each Kindergartener, rounding up, the school receives $166.

No, I’m not kidding.

Here’s how SPPS compares to the eight largest Twin Cities metro school districts:

Anoka Hennepin - $696
Minneapolis - $504
North St. Paul/Maplewood - $833
Osseo - $842
Robbinsdale - $848
Rosemount/Apple Valley - $1,042
SPPS - $331
South Washington County - $929

If the referendum passes, SPPS will receive $593 per pupil per year.

If it doesn’t pass, private dollars will find a way. And schools without access to those dollars, well…

Epilogue

I support the referendum. If I have any concerns about it at all, it that it asks for too little. $331 per pupil per year is a joke. It's a joke on its face, and comparatively it's hysterical. But $593 is subsistence. It is not excellence.

How much are we spending on the Iraq war again? What was that no child left behind deal again?

I hope everyone on St. Paul will vote for the referendum.

*And I have the whole middle-class guilt and educated African-American guilt thing working on me overtime. I’m impressed by friends and colleagues who don't mix politics and philosophy with education decisions. For me, where I live and what it means to be a part of a community is a component of how and whether I embrace the services offered by my community. I simultaneously admire and disagree with those who make education decisions divorced from obligations to place – be they real or imagined.

It All Finally Makes Sense

2006-09-28T11:16:00.001-05:00

So, Hugo Chavez calls Bush the devil and all hell breaks loose. Democrats argue that he can’t criticize Americans. 7-11 fires Citgo as it’s gasoline provider, thereby jeopardizing the jobs of 4,000 Americans who work for Citgo. People protest against the Citgo sign at Boston's Fenway Park.

But what slays me even more, is that no one I’ve seen has commented on how Chavez’s words differ very little from President Bush’s comments in his 2002 State of the Union Address. In that speech, Bush indicated that Iraq, Iran and North Korea were part of an axis of evil. Let’s turn to the Oxford American Dictionary, shall we?

Dev-il (dev-il) n. 1. the Devil (in Jewish and Christian teaching) the supreme spirit of evil and enemy of God. 2. an evil spirit. 3. a wicked or cruel or annoying person. 4. a mischievous person or a person of great cleverness 5. (informal) something difficult or hard to manage…

E-vil (ee-vil) adj. 1. morally bad, wicked. 2. harmful, intending to do harm. 3. very unpleasant or troublesome…

AND…

Recently, Jerry Falwell said that a 2008 Hillary Rodham Clinton presidential campaign would do more to energize the religious right than if Lucifer himself ran for President.

He later said he was kidding.

So, here are my conclusions:

It is NOT okay for Hugo Chavez to call President Bush the devil, even if devil means a wicked, cruel or annoying person*.

It IS okay for Bush to call three countries evil, even if evil means morally bad or wicked.

Christians of the Falwell variety would do very little to oppose Satan if he or she ran for President, but they would fight like the dickens against Senator Clinton.

And…if my logic is working right -

That’s why Christians of the Falwell variety support President Bush. Though he smells like sulfur, he’s not as bad a Senator Clinton.

*And I would argue that Bush is not only wicked, cruel and annoying, but that he also an enemy of God, a mischievous person, and that he finds the presidency difficult or hard to manage. I would not, however, argue that he is a person of great cleverness.

An Open Letter to the GOP Convention Planners

2006-09-27T18:09:00.000-05:00

GOP
1234 Illogic Way
Washington, D.C. 20510

RE: Your recent selection of the Twin Cities for your 2008 Convention

Dear Sirs*:

While we probably won't greet you as liberators, you should be very welcome when you come here for your little convention in 2008: we plan to stock up on caviar and expensive champagne. We'll have cuban cigars (and we'll remove the labels so as not to create any guilty feelings as you enjoy the gentle pull and robust flavors) and we'll recruit extra exotic dancers for when your prayer group meetings are done**. We'll bring in lots of BMWs for you to rent so that you'll feel right at home whilst you drive around***. We'll load in lots of earth-hating air fresheners so that you won't be embarrassed by your sulfuric essence.

We do expect that you'll respect our first amendment rights during your visit. You may see a sign or two - Minnesotans are very expressive people.

In closing, please be advised that your presence here doesn't matter, Minnesotans will continue their very long and excellent tradition of voting Democrat for President.

Thank you,

Duf

P.S. Watch out for flying eggs and/or tomatoes - I'd hate to see a Sable coat ruined.

cc: Neoconservatives
Billionaires
Oilmen
Enemies of Science
Warmongers
Religious Fanatics
Hyper-nationalists
Prosperity Haters
Deficit Lovers
Torturers
Jack Abramhoff
Ann Coulter
Jerry Falwell
Pat Robertson
Dr. James Dobson
George Steinbrenner
Focus on the Family
People who do nothing while annual health care costs rise 20%
Xenophobes
Homophobes
Liars
Social Security Reformers (ha!)
Plan B Proponents (Thanks Bush FDA!)
Occupiers
Lead Fiddlers amid the Inferno that is our Rome
(BTW, the Devil went down to Georgia, NOT Minnesota!)
Lovers of Tax Inequity
Terrorism Expanders
Vast Right Wing Conspirators
Eroders of the Separation of Church and State
Earth Haters

*and any token Madams out there.

** this is based on a true story. One night, my friend and I were leaving a Timberwolves basketball game and walking in downtown Minneapolis. We walked past**** a strip club just as hoards of exotic dancers exiting a bus were walking in. We asked the bouncer why so many dancers, and he said they brought in extra folks for the Promisekeepers Convention.

***I heard this morning that a disproportionate number of Volvo drivers are Democrats. BMWs drivers are disproportionately Republican. Very true.

****no kidding, we really walked past. Duf is not down with strip clubs, but, more than that, he doesn't kick it with Promisekeepers.

"Lil' Bit, Lil' Bit"; Or: "I Had an Omelette"

2006-09-21T14:03:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this brought me down a little bit. Sometimes I feel like it's not going to end well mother earth or her descendants/inhabitants. Will we figure it out fast enough, or won't we?

Hat tip to my friend JR who sent that link to me. He's an okay guy even though he's a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints*. The one thing about him that drives me nuts is that he's an unapologetic fence sitter. He won't just own up to his progressive liberalness and insists on pretending that both parties are equally bad**. He will never admit that I'm right all the time. Also, he had this really absurd argument about how tongues are only to be used for eating (or maybe I was arguing that tongues have a purpose beyond enunciation and the facilitation of swallowing, but I digress). He's in a rock band, and has some really pent up issues with golf. If we got in a fist fight, I would totally devastate him (as in totally ruin his life forever) in...oh, about 3.7 seconds. Even though I have only once hit another person in the face***. JR is the kind of guy for whom you make exceptions. About seven or eight really quick exceptions about the face, neck and ears.

*That's right, he's a mormon. They like root beer and cigarettes, but I'm not sure of the cigarettes part.

**Which is, of course, patently absurd - the democrats have plenty of room for improvement, but the Republicans are flat evil.

***I'm a pacifist, but I got in a little tussle in college when a skinhead attacked me at a party. I won the fight, BTW even though I had no earthly clue of what I was doing. I hit him in the jaw really, really hard (fueled by fear and adrenaline). He went down. My hand hurt and swole up. His buddies chased me and my buddies in my friend Paul's Cadillac. The night ended at a Perkins restaurant. I had an omelette.

A New Issue Emerges at TinyE's School (But it Doesn't Sound Like the End of the World)

2006-09-19T13:45:00.000-05:00

Prelude:

Below is an email note from TinyE’s kindergarten teacher in response to my request for an update on how things are going so far this year.

Main Subject:

Duf,

TinyE seems to enjoy being in class. She does at times want to walk to the beat of her own drum instead of going along with our class and what we are doing. I am working on trying to explain that we work on things together sometimes and there are times when you can choose what you would like to do.

J.T. Teacher

Postlude:

And gee, we haven’t recognized that tendency in her before, so…well…um…we’re naturally very…um…stunned (yes, stunned!) to hear it now, and…um…because it’s a new issue and all…well…um…we’ll think about how to start working on it with her and everything. Yep, that’s what we’ll do with this new issue. It sure is new. Yep. I’d call it a new issue.

In all seriousness, she has a bit of her Dad's obsessions and compulsions. And TinyE HATES to stop doing something just because the appointed time in which to do that task has lapsed.

We were at a poker party the other night (Mrs. Duf lost* more than I won, so it was a net loss for the conglomerate known as "our family"), and one of our friends, who happens to be in a band, mentioned that the band was struggling because their best musician has a very serious OCD problem and sometimes misses practice because he's painting his lawnmower. Of course, once he starts something, he can't stop.

And, by the way (completely different topic), why am I encouraged (not overtly, mind you) to call TinyE's teacher "Mr. T" and he very quickly called me by the abbreviated version of my first name ("Mike") without even asking me. And, am I off track here? It feels weird to me that I call a young man, some 10 - 12 years my junior, "Mr." and he calls me "Mike." Haven't we moved past all that formality and foolishness? I mean I still call my Dr. "Dr. L___," but she's older than I am, and well she's seen me naked, so some formality seems very appropriate there - but, well, I dunno, I just don't want the Mr./Mike mismatch here.

And I respect teachers, so don't even go there.

*Her signature hand was one where she bet hard against a guy who had been folding all night. It was texas hold 'em, and a 9, a ten and a queen were showing. Mrs. Duf had a pair of 9's. I won't tell you what she lost to - poker players know.

What Bush Teaches about America, What Bush Teaches about Democracy, What Bush Teaches about Christianity

2006-09-17T09:51:00.000-05:00

So let me know if I’m oversimplifying things.

Does it seem at all inconsistent that the Bush Administration has sent anti-terror legislation to the Senate, which essentially disregards key provisions of the Geneva Convention because (after all this time – Geneva was signed in 1949) it’s suddenly, according to the Administration, too vague for application?

Never mind that our departure here leaves our own soldiers vulnerable to mistreatment (vulernable to our own new interpretations) should they ever become prisoners of war.

Never mind that this is really just a continuation of a consistent disregard, by Bush, of international treaties and accords (the 1995 Biological Weapons Convention, the 1997 Kyoto treaty, changes to the U.N. pact on the illegal flow of small arms among others).

Never mind that expert after expert after expert has said that any evidence obtained as a result of torture is inherently unreliable.

Never mind that on the day when the President promoted legislation to torture people in new and exciting ways, two military leaders, Colin Powell and Lieutenant General John (Jeff) Kimmons used their moral high-ground and superior understanding of war theory and war practice to come out in almost exactly the opposite direction*.

Never mind the effect it has on our laws and how they’re interpreted.

Never mind the effect it has on the tortured, or, stated differently,

never mind the lessons of Abu Ghraib.

Never mind the effect it has on the torturer, or, stated differently,

never mind the lessons of Mahmoudiya.

Never mind that it’s good politics so close to the mid-term elections to promote anti-terror legislation (to label it such even) and then dare Democrats to vote against it so that you can say they’re soft on terror**.

Never mind the effect it has on Americans, the flag, our standing in the international community, the world’s reaction to “democracy***.”

Never mind that all this torturing we do in the name of protecting ourselves from terrorism only emboldens terrorists, and diminishes any sympathy or latitude the rest of the world may extend us; undermining our ability to encourage future coalitions of the willing – which is to say, future countries willing to join us in worthwhile responses to (God forbid) future acts of terrorism.

Never mind how just downright sad it is that talented men and women spend time parsing words and phrases from respected agreements that are more than 50 years old, with the goal of finding ways to hurt people – to hurt them so badly that sometimes they die.

Does it seem at all inconsistent that the President who blows the horn of his Christian faith more than any other President…does it seem at all inconsistent that this is the President who tours the country speaking to his faithful – other conservative Christians - about the need for simulated drowning, the need for sleep and sensory deprivation, the need for beatings, the need for induced hypothermia, in short, the need for people to suffer and die in order for us to…

…to what?

Reduce Terrorism?
Find Osama bin Laden?
Promote democracy?
Be a moral force in the world?
Preserve the Republican majority in all four estates****?
Maintain our status as a superpower?
Test people’s patriotism?
Promote Christianity?

What?

For those who don’t understand America, for those who don’t understand democracy, for those who don’t understand Christianity, what is the message here?

* Kimmons said “…No good intelligence is going to come from abusive practices. I think history tells us that. I think the empirical evidence of the last five years, tells us that. And, moreover, any piece of intelligence which is obtained under duress, through the use of abusive techniques, would be of questionable credibility, and additionally it would do more harm than good when it inevitably became known that abusive practices were used…”

** So what if people suffer, so what if people die, so what if future American soldiers find themselves water-boarded - if Republicans retain the House and Senate, it will all be worth it. Is that the argument?

***At a recent international protest at one of the many countries that are able to gather tens of thousands of people only to protest the United States, a woman was practically worshipped because she carried a sign which read “Be careful, the U.S. may bring democracy to you next.”

****Executive, legislative, judicial, and main street media.