mercredi, septembre 06, 2006

I'm Udderly Amazed by the Lengths to Which Haters Will Go

I understood when my MC skillz caused a lot of sucka DJs (who think they're fly) to hate on me.

Everyone who drives a 1999 Subaru Outback* suffers much hate at the mercy of those who's whips, to state it frankly, are not as fly. Which is to say 99.9% of the car-driving public.

My golf game inspires much hate; Tiger Woods himselfs looks on with something like awe when ever I pull my three iron out of the bag. He knows something is amazing is going to happen. He knows I'm going to defy the laws of physics, of thermodynamics, and of logic - as well as brush aside literally thousands of lessons from history.

And the wardrobe, straight out of Maine has been inspiring haters since 1912.

But lately the haters have been getting me down. People who don't have a giant cow three or four houses down from their house don't have anything to do with their jealousy and so they get petty.

And they lash out.

I'm sick of it. Get your own giant neighborhood cow**, haters!

Get your own.

*Anniversary Edition, haters, anniversary edition!

**Our neighbor, exactly four or five houses to the West, must have something to do with the Minnesota State Fair. The Fair, which is also known as "the great Minnesota get together," is approximately 1.5 miles or two to the West***. Each year, a few days before the Fair, and a few days after the Fair, there is a giant cow in our neighborhood. But we don't mind, that old holstein heifer yields a lot of milk. A lot of milk****.

***And I just told people how to get to my house. Dangit. Find the giant cow 2 to 2.5 miles East of the State Fair grounds, and then count six or seven houses to the East, and there we are. If I don't post anymore, it's because I'm dead.

****We pasteurize it here at the house. It ain't no 2% though; it's full on Vitamin D.