Top Ten Things Which Prove There's Something Wrong with Me

10. I have never seen "24," "Alias," or "Desperate Housewives" or "Lost."

I am not likely to do so.

9. I have only seen one LOTR movie, and I thought it was okay.

The first one.

8. I have only seen 3 Star Wars movies (I fell asleep early into number 4 (a.k.a. #1)).

I'm sure I'll see them some day.

7. I have not read a Harry Potter book, and I'm not likely to do so.

I'm really, really bad about my reading...really bad. Very, very snobby.

6. I have not read the DaVinci Code, and I'm not likely to do so.

Angels and Demons? Not so much.

5. I cannot be roused to care at all about Jennifer/Brad/Angelina/Lohan.

Not even a little. If they rang my doorbell, I'd be overwhelmed by yawning.

4. I have only played a video game once since they switch to the fancy controller.

I was quite bad at it acutally.

3. I'm fanatically opposed to artificial vanilla.

I'm very particular about my english muffins.

2. I hate to miss "Wife Swap." Hate missing it.

I missed it tonight, and it almost killed me.

1. I have no idea at all why anyone except his parents cares about Ben Affleck.

Not even a little clue.

Bonus: I thought that "Million Dollar Baby" (on HBO right now) was horribly overrated. Before going, I'd heard there was a surprise in it. After the film, I LITERALLY had to have my wife explain to me what the surprise was. I kept waiting for a surprise and was never surprised.