The Conversations We Had; The Conversations I Want Us to Have

Most parents of toddlers wrestle with this same question. Should I always be candid with my child even if they may not be ready to hear a candid response?

For me, the answer is no. And I don't like it, but TinyE is five, and I'm not sure she needs to know that the world can be a very cruel, very dark, very cynical place (at least she doesn't need to know it just yet). I'll also admit that some concepts are too difficult to explain, and, motivated by laziness, I just take a more expedient path.

We had two recent conversations which illustrate my tendency.

The First Conversation (the conversation we had)

TinyE: You should never run from the police, right?
Duf: No, you shouldn't.
TinyE: Because if you run, they'll shoot you, right?
Duf: No, honey, I don't think the police would shoot you.

My answer is accurate - I really don't think the police would shoot TinyE - but incomplete.

The First Conversation (the conversation I wish we had)

TinyE: You should never run from the police, right?
Duf: No, you shouldn't.
TinyE: Because if you run, they'll shoot you, right?
Duf: Well, honey, police officers are just like everyone else. There are some police officers who are nice and protect us. There are other police officers who are cruel and who harm people. You want to be as careful with the police as you are with anyone else.

I think this is too dark a vision for a five year old (who, by the way has been told at school the police officers are friendly and here to protect and serve), to contemplate. As well, if she every need to seek assistance from a police officer, I want that effort to be uncluttered by complex considerations.

The Second Conversation (the conversation we had)

TinyE: The news is not fiction, right?
Duf: Yes, honey, the news is non-fiction; it's the best effort to report what happened.

My answer here is contrary to my belief.

The Second Conversation (the conversation I wish we had)

TinyE: The news is not fiction, right?
Duf: Fox News is fiction! Just kidding. Well, sweetie, I think most news reporters make a sincere effort to report what happened. But reporters, like all people, are biased and come to every scene with their own perspective. So, you should take in news with skepticism, and you should challenge what you're given. Take news from multiple sources, and read news accounts of events you've attended to see if it matches with your own thoughts on what happened.

Someday we'll have those conversations, but for now, I'll let TinyE be five.